Olympian Bedtime Stories and Campfire Frights
by icecream401
Summary: You've heard the story of "Cinderella", right? Well, you haven't heard of anything until you read this. This is just like the fairy tales we all heard of growing up, but from Olympus! Enjoy! Also enjoy the stories of fright, taken from common American literature. I'll give credit as needed!
1. Prologue

**OLYMPIAN FAIRY TALES**

**Disclaimer: Okay, guys. So I just thought of this because I came across a fairy tale book that belonged to me when I was like two or something. It's along the lines of that new "Family Guy" episode where Peter's telling Stewie some bedtime stories about fairy tales and stuff…**

**Anyway, hope you like! As always, reviews are welcome!**

**Oh, yeah, and for the sake of this story, let's just say that the demigods live with their parents. And they're all the same age. AND I have brought all the dead people back to life! MWAHAHAHA!**

**PROLOGUE**

It was eight-thirty on Mount Olympus. There was the nightlife, but the Olympians were busy putting their children to bed.

In a huge palace were a family of two. Zeus was the head of the household, and three-year-old Thalia was running around playing with her dress-up clothes.

"Are you done playing, honey?" asked Zeus. "It's almost time for your bath."

Thalia pouted. "No, daddy! No bath time! I go play in my room!"

Zeus picked his daughter up and carried her into the bathroom, where he set her in the warm water and let her play with the bubbles while he washed her hair.

"But, Thalia, Daddy needs to get you ready for bedtime, or the surprise won't happen."

Thalia stopped giving herself a bubble beard and stared up at her father. "A surpwise?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Daddy's got a big surprise for his little girl." Zeus beamed down at his daughter as she made a bubble beard again and slapped at the water. "Hey, no splashing," Zeus scolded as he dried Thalia off. "Now, which pajamas would you like: your black ones or the cloud ones?"

"Cloud ones, daddy!"

"All right! Clouds it is!"

Zeus put Thalia in some footy pajamas and tucked her into bed. As he was going out of the room, Thalia sat up quickly.

"What, honey?"

"Daddy! You forgotted the surpwise!"

"That's right! I did!" Zeus sat on the edge of Thalia's bed and stroked his daughter's black hair. "Well, Thalia, remember that book that I got you for your birthday?"

Thalia nodded.

"Well, we're going to give that book to someone else. Daddy's got more stories where that came from."

"Like what?"

"Oh, there's 'The Three Little Gods,' 'Artemis and Apollo,' and 'The Goddess and the Rock.'"

"Well, they sound fun, daddy." Thalia yawned widely.

"Well, honey, we don't have to learn them tonight," Zeus said. "Maybe I'll just—"

"No!" Thalia moaned into her pillow. "Tell 'em now, daddy!"

"All right, honey. Which one would you like to hear?"

"'The Three Little Gods,'" Thalia replied sleepily.

"All right," said Zeus, stroking Thalia's hair some more. He put on a thoughtful face, like he was trying to make up the tale, but couldn't figure out how to do it.

**Okay. I know it's kind of short. Chapter 1 is coming up next. You guys know some other good fairy tales? I have a boatload of them, but can't think of what to call them!**


	2. The Three Little Gods

**All right! I literally sat down and made a list of fairy tales that I remember. Some of these are princess stories, which I know aren't really fairy tales, but who cares?**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

**FAIRY TALE 1: THE THREE LITTLE GODS**

Once upon a time, there were three gods named Apollo, Ares, and Dionysus. They lived in the middle of nowhere, and they were each other's company.

But one day, they got in an argument, because Dionysus came home too late, and Ares was always picking fights with other gods, and Apollo couldn't stop talking about himself. So the three gods decided to separate and live in their own houses. Now Dionysus was kind of an idiot and built his house out of straw. Ares was a bit smarter, and he built his house of sticks. But Apollo was the smartest, and he built his house of bricks.

One day, all three gods were watching the news in their houses, when an emergency newsflash came on. It had warned them about the Big Bad God, Hades, and that they should stay in their houses at all times, except to go to the store or school or visit family members.

Meanwhile, the Big Bad God, Hades, was walking down the road humming a song about death, when he came upon a straw house. He was very hungry, so he knocked.

"Who is it?" Dionysus asked.

"Dionysus! Dionysus! Let me come in!" Hades yelled.

"Nah, I don't think I want to let you in!"

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"

Hades grew to an eight-foot-tall giant and he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house down. When he shrunk down to his normal size, Dionysus was cowering in a pile of straw.

"Mmm," said Hades, "yummy!" So because people in Greek mythology tend to eat each other because they feel like it, Hades picked up Dionysus and ate him.

Hades decided to go to the next house. Maybe the person who lived there could give him some food or something to drink, at least.

Hades knocked. "Little god, little god! Please let me in!"

"No, punk! I WON'T LET YOU IN!" yelled Ares.

"Aw, but I'm hungry!"

"What's the password?"

"I don't know!"

"Then I can't let you in!"

"Fine. Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!" Hades took a deep breath and blew down Ares' house of sticks, but it wasn't as easy as Dionysus' house was to blow down. When he'd finished, Ares was lying beneath a pile of sticks.

"So, this is the part where I eat you," said Hades, picking Ares up and eating him.

Hades finally went to the next god's house, because he was still feeling hungry. He knew who lived there. He figured it wasn't Hermes because he delivered mail all day. And he knew it wasn't Hephaestus because he was depressed all day and worked in his overly-hot workshop. So Hades could figure out who lived there.

"Apollo! Apollo! Let me come in!"

"No! I'm shaving the beard off my sexy chin chin!"

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!" Hades did the same thing, but he couldn't blow Apollo's house down. "Man!" he yelled angrily. "All right, Apollo! I guess I'll have to come down the chimney!"

Inside the house, Apollo wasn't frightened, for he knew this was coming since he was the god of prophecy. He grabbed a large cauldron from his Halloween stash in the basement and filled it with hot water. The cauldron was stone, so he put a blazing fire underneath it to heat it up more.

Hades was about halfway up the gutter to the rooftop, and when he arrived, he slid himself down the chimney. He got stuck a few times because Ares and Dionysus had put some pounds on him.

But the last few feet were out of his control. He slid into the cauldron which was so hot that he puked Ares and Dionysus up.

"Hey!" Hades said sadly. "That was my lunch!"

"Why didn't you just go to McDonald's?" asked Dionysus.

"Because we're in the middle of freaking nowhere!" Hades yelled.

Apollo was at the phone calling Zeus. "Zeus? Yeah, some crazy weirdo named Bad God Hades is in my house! Would you mind taking him to the Godly Prison? Thank you!"

And so Zeus and Poseidon came and carted Hades away, where he spent two minutes or however long it was in the Godly Prison. He only spent a short amount of time because he said he was sorry. So the two gods let him out extra early for good behavior.

**With Zeus and Thalia**

"The end," Zeus said as Thalia yawned.

"Daddy, can you tell me another one?"

"Sure. But tomorrow, honey. I'm tired and so are you. Gods, if I told you one, we'd both fall asleep." Zeus walked over to the door. "Good night, Thalia. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, daddy."

Zeus smiled at his daughter, and closed the door behind him as he headed off to bed, too.


	3. Cinder-Hera

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me!**

**FAIRY TALE 2: CINDER-HERA**

Poseidon was about to read a fairy tale to four-year-old Percy. Triton was already asleep and Amphitrite was making coffee downstairs, so Poseidon was spending some quality time with his "favorite" son.

"Dad, can we do 'Cinder-Hera?'" asked Percy.

"Of course we can!" Poseidon said, beaming at his son. "Let's see here. It all started a long time ago…"

**CINDER-HERA**

A long time ago, there lived a beautiful woman named Hera. She used to live with her mother Rhea, but sadly she ran off with some other guy, and now she was living with her meanie father Kronos. Along with Kronos, she had two sisters—Demeter and Hestia. These girls were so annoying and terrible, that Hera often thought about life with another family.

It was on one spring morning at five that Hera woke up to start her day. She called to the happy birds and they helped her get dressed and did her hair. She went downstairs to make breakfast, but it wasn't long before she heard a loud "CINDER-HERA!" from upstairs. It was her terrible sister Demeter, and she got really crabby when she was hungry.

"Coming!" Cinder-Hera replied, and took the trays of food to her sisters' and father's rooms.

After breakfast was served, Cinder-Hera usually wolfed something down real quick before starting her morning chores. When she arrived at her father's room, she received a list of chores.

**CINDER-HERA'S TO-DO LIST:**

**1.) Scrub the floors.**

**2.) Do the dishes.**

**3.) Paint my toenails purple with white hearts and poke-a-dots.**

**4.) Wash the chariot.**

**5.) Get the mail from that annoying Hermes guy.**

**6.) Clean the toilets.**

**7.) Water the garden.**

**8.) Drive your sisters to the beauty salon to get their hair done.**

**9.) Shave my chin.**

**10.) Get the shower drain hair in my bathroom. It's driving me nuts!**

Of course there were way more things to do than just ten chores, but that's a different story.

Cinder-Hera decided that she'd better get moving, so she began to scrub the floors.

Unfortunately, she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Hermes stood there, well-dressed and holding a letter or something out to her. He bowed to her and left.

Cinder-Hera took the mysterious letter upstairs and gave it to Kronos. "Father, here is a letter for you."

Kronos ripped it open. Demeter and Hestia, who were watching TV with him, came to glance at the letter, too.

"Why, there is to be a ball tomorrow night! Every maiden is to attend it, and the prince will be there! My perfect daughters, we shall need to make you beautiful and gorgeous."

"But, father," said Demeter, "we are already gorgeous."

"Not in the mornings, you're not," Kronos snapped. "Get moving! Cinder-Hera, take them to the beauty salon at once!"

Cinder-Hera knew that the letter said "every maiden is to attend." That meant that she could go, too! So while the girls were getting their hair done, she went and bought herself a dress at a nearby store.

When the day of the ball came, Cinder-Hera did all of her chores quickly (but she still did a good job of them), and began to get ready for the ball. As usual, the animals from the forest helped her get ready. They did her hair and helped her with her makeup.

When she came down the stairs, Kronos was in a suit and tie, and Demeter and Hestia were in matching royal blue dresses.

"What's this?" asked Kronos.

"Uh…I'm going to the ball, too, father," Cinder-Hera said incredulously.

"Did you mop the floors?"

"Yes, father."

"And did you scrape the leftover food from the dishes into the sink?"

"Yes, father."

"Very well, then. I did say you could go last night." Kronos looked at Hestia. "Hestia, aren't these your earrings?"

"Yes!" Hestia screamed and snatched the earrings out of Cinder-Hera's ears. "And that sash belongs to Demeter!"

One part at a time, the girls began to tear apart Cinder-Hera's dress, until it was a pile of rags on the floor.

"Now you are not able to go to the ball tonight, Cinder-Hera," said Kronos with false sympathy. "Run along to your chambers, my dear."

Instead of going to her chambers, Cinder-Hera ran out into the garden and cried on a nearby bench.

Suddenly a figure shimmered into existence. "Hera," the figure said, "I am Aphrodite, your godmother."

"Nope. No, you're not. I've heard weird stuff about you," Cinder-Hera insisted.

"Like what?"

"Like you think your name starts with a Q."

"It doesn't?"

Cinder-Hera shook her head.

"That's the fifth time someone's told me today that my name doesn't start with a Q!" Aphrodite sighed heavily. "Oh, well. Dear, do you want to go to this ball or what?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, girlfriend, we'll have to get you a new dress." She waved her hand and Cinder-Hera had a new dress on. "And a coach." A pumpkin appeared and Aphrodite made it a carriage. "And the rest of this stuff." A coachman and escort appeared. "Now, get your sorry butt out of here right now and have a good time!"

"Thanks, Aphrodite!"

"Don't mention it, sweetie! But you must be back by midnight, because the spell will be broken. And you'll be back to your horrible…I mean…your normal life."

Cinder-Hera arrived at the ball a few moments later. She was escorted into the ballroom, and saw Kronos, Demeter, and Hestia in a corner. Kronos was drinking, because he found that he could solve all of his problems by drinking wine. Demeter and Hestia were crying, probably because the prince—Zeus—wasn't in love with them.

Cinder-Hera felt someone tap her on her back. It was Zeus the prince himself. "Hey," he said, unsure of himself. "Would you like to dance?"

"Sure."

They took each other's hands and went out into the gardens because Zeus didn't really enjoy dancing in the ballroom too much.

They danced for some time, and they kissed many more times, too. Suddenly, Cinder-Hera looked at the clock. "Oh, crap!" she muttered.

"What's up?" asked Prince Zeus.

"Uh…I gotta go."

"Why? I'm having such a wonderful evening with you, Cinder-Hera, is it?"

"It's just Hera, but they call me that because all I do is cook and clean for them."

"Yeah. I rejected your sisters. They seemed so selfish. And your father's a jerk."

"Yeah, I've been told that before."

The clock struck midnight.

"See ya!"

Cinder-Hera ran to her pumpkin-coach and the coachman drove her home, but not before they turned back into their original objects.

When Cinder-Hera rushed up to her room, she discovered that one of her glass slippers went missing at the ball. So that's what fell off my foot, she thought.

The next morning, a footman came to the door with Prince Zeus.

"Girls!" Kronos called. "Get down here! A footman is here and Prince Zeus wants to propose to one of you!"

Cinder-Hera was up in her room, for she was being punished for painting the wrong number of hearts on Kronos' nails the previous night.

Cinder-Hera began to play with the locks on her door, and she got herself free. She made her way downstairs and offered her foot to Prince Zeus, who slipped the slipper on her foot.

"Ah!" Zeus exclaimed. "I knew it was you!" And he kissed her passionately.

And so they lived happily ever after, and Kronos eventually fell into a deep depression with all the chores he now had to do. Demeter and Hestia moved in with Hera and Zeus, and became their servants.

**With Poseidon and Percy**

"The end," said Poseidon happily. "Percy?"

Percy was asleep.

"Figures," said Poseidon. "Next time I'll remember to tell him WAY BEFORE his bedtime."


	4. Apollo and Artemis

**Disclaimer: No!**

**FAIRY TALE 3: APOLLO AND ARTEMIS**

Hades was busy tucking his kids in, when they begged for a story.

"But I don't have any stories for you guys," Hades said doubtfully.

"But, daddy," Bianca whined. "Tell us a fairy tale!"

"Fine."

Hades sat down in the rocking chair between the two beds of his children and began to tell the story.

**APOLLO AND ARTEMIS**

Once upon a time, there were two children of Zeus named Apollo and Artemis. Zeus was a baker and had to go into town every single day to bake bread.

One day, Zeus brought a huge loaf of bread home for his children, which they gladly accepted.

The following morning, Artemis suggested they go for a walk in the woods. While Apollo said that this was a terrible idea, Artemis just told him to shut up and pushed him along the path. As they were walking, they dropped pieces of breadcrumbs so they could find their way back to their cottage.

After an hour of walking, it began to get dark. The two children were very scared, so they decided to head back to their cottage.

"Where's the bread?" asked Artemis angrily.

"Uh…" Apollo said as he chewed.

"Stop eating the bread!" Artemis yelled. "We need that!"

"But I'm hungry!" Apollo wailed and kicked a tree in frustration.

"I don't care! You should've eaten your hot dog at lunch!" Artemis snapped and grabbed Apollo by the ear.

Since Apollo was eating all the bread from lack of a full stomach, the two children became lost.

"See," said Artemis flatly as she was trying to lead the way home, "that was why we needed the freaking bread!"

"But, sis—"

"Stop calling me sis!"

"Look! Artemis, look!"

Artemis turned around. Standing at least a hundred feet tall was a gingerbread house. She began to salivate as she looked at it in its entirety.

Apollo ran forward and knocked on the door. A tall woman answered. She had black hair and warm eyes.

"Well, children," she said. "How nice to see you. Come on into my house."

"Can we eat it?" asked Apollo excitedly.

"Not yet," said the woman. "I am Persephone, and this is my mother Demeter."

Another woman waved from the couch. She was reading a cookbook.

"Uh…" said Artemis. "We got lost in the woods, and we can't get home because SOME IDIOT CALLED MY BROTHER ate all the bread!"

"Well," said the woman, Persephone, "we'd be glad to have you both stay here for a while. Come. I'll show you to your rooms."

Persephone threw them into a cell and locked the door. But this wasn't an ordinary cell. The bars were chocolate and the children began to eat their way out.

MANY HOURS LATER…

"Ugh…Artemis," said Apollo, clutching his stomach, "my stomach hurts."

"Yeah, so does mine," Artemis replied.

"All right," called Persephone's voice. "I'll need Artemis, please!"

She grabbed Artemis by the ear and dragged her into the kitchen. Demeter was chopping vegetables into a large pot.

"Get in," Persephone ordered Artemis.

"Uh, no thanks."

"GET IN!" yelled Demeter.

"Look, lady, I get that you're a goddess, but no one really likes you."

"Oh, yeah?" said Persephone. "Well, no one likes you either."

"You'd better like her!" a deep voice yelled.

Zeus the baker came into the kitchen and threw Persephone and Demeter into the boiling pot of water. Then he turned to Artemis and gave her a huge hug. "Where's your brother?"

"He's busy puking up all the chocolate he stuffed himself with."

Sure enough, they found Apollo hunched over the toilet puking up the chocolate.

"Ew!" yelled Zeus. "All right, children. Let's go home."

**BACK WITH HADES AND COMPANY**

"The end," said Hades, getting up. "Now go to sleep."

"Aw, daddy," moaned Nico. "That story sucked."

"Silence, or I'll throw you in the dungeon!" Hades kissed each of them. "Good night, my children. Sleep well."


	5. Aphrodite and the Frog

**Okay, Nora! Here's what you've been waiting for!**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I wasn't Rick Riordan! Aww.**

**FAIRY TALE 4: APHRODITE AND THE FROG**

Aphrodite was holding two-year-old Piper on her lap as she told her the story of how she and Ares "met."

**APHRODITE AND THE FROG**

Once upon a time, Aphrodite was glancing at her oh, so beautiful reflection in the water, when she saw a frog looking at her.

"Hello, little girl," said the frog.

"Who are you?" Aphrodite asked.

"I'm the Frog Prince," the frog replied. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a handsome man and we can get married. You know, what normally happens in fairy tales and junk."

"Well, how will I know that you're actually a prince?"

"Uh…hello! Don't you recognize my voice?"

"Well, you kind of sound like a jerk."

"No, you moron! I'M ARES!"

"Ares?! Why are you a frog? What did you to deserve this?"

"Well, I was clipping my toenails on my throne, and the queen—Hera—was very disgusted. Long story short, she turned me into a frog." Ares croaked just to prove that he was actually a frog.

"Well…" Aphrodite thought about it. "Fine, but I want a real kiss, not just some peck on the lips, Ares!" She bent down and kissed him…reluctantly. "EWWWWW!" she yelled, wiping her lips on her dress. "EW! EW! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Hey, Aphro! I'm a sexy prince!"

"That you are!"

Ares and Aphrodite walked hand-in-hand until they reached the castle.

"Fair warning," Ares warned, "the queen's a little crazy in the head."

"I think I'll be okay. She can't be as bad as that Hephaestus guy."

"Who?"

"You know, my other husband? I divorced him because he fell for another beautiful princess named Athena."

"Ah, Ares," Queen Hera said coldly. "I see Princess Aphrodite has turned you into a handsome prince."

"Yeah," Ares replied.

"All right. I guess I will have to pronounce you man and wife now. Aphrodite, unless I fade, you are not allowed to place your butt on my throne!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"See, Ares? She called me ma'am."

**WITH APHRODITE AND PIPER**

"Good night, Piper."

"I didn't like dat stowy," Piper complained.

"Mommy's tired."

"NO BEDTIME!"

"Piper McLean! Mommy loves you very much, but she needs to go night-night, too." Aphrodite went over to the door and closed it after turning off the lights.

"Hey, Aphro," Ares said quietly. "Wanna snuggle?"

"Sure. But I have to ask you something first."

"What's that, cutie?"

"Does my name start with a Q?"

Ares mentally facepalmed himself. "Yes. Yes it does."


	6. Jason and the Bean Stock

**Thanks so much for reviewing guys! I love them so much, and I greatly appreciate them!**

**I've decided to get right to the point. I'm thinking it doesn't really matter who tells the story to whom, but that the story is present all the same.**

**And thanks, Finwitch1. This one's for you! But if you don't mind, I had to change it up a little.**

**Disclaimer: Nope…to PJO, HOO, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.**

**FAIRY TALE 5: JASON AND THE BEAN STOCK**

Jason and Thalia Grace lived in the same cottage, and they were supposed to live with their mother, but she died of a long-term illness and left the house to them.

"Jason!" Thalia yelled at her brother as she was making breakfast. "Come downstairs and eat this oatmeal I've made for us."

"But oatmeal makes me sick," Jason groaned as he forced it down.

"Eat it, and I'll send you to the market for cash."

"What do I have to do?"

"See that cow over there?" Thalia pointed out the window.

"Yeah?"

"Well, that's the fattest cow on our puny little farm, and it's now old enough to make us some money. While I'm cleaning and stuff, you're going to run down to the market, give this cow up for money, and bring the money back to me. That way we can probably live in a comfortable home."

"Okay, Thalia."

So Jason took Spot the cow down to the farmer's market for money. But he had to cross a bridge in order to get to the market.

Jason was about to cross the bridge when an evil troll named Hephaestus blocked his path. "Halt!" Hephaestus yelled. "Who crosses my bridge of many questions?"

"Me," Jason said bluntly.

"Well, boy, I'm going to ask you some questions. Answer them all correctly and I shall let you pass. If not, I'll kill you."

"Fair enough."

And so Hephaestus began to ask Jason the questions. "What is your name?"

"Jason Grace."

"What is your quest?"

"I seek money for this obese cow."

"What is your favorite color?"

"Blue," Jason replied.

"All right. Jeez, boy, that cow needs to lose some weight."

"Dude, we're going to cook him and then we're gonna eat him."

"Oh, I see."

So Jason skipped along the path to the farmer's market. When he arrived, Demeter came up to him with three beans.

"What the heck am I going to do with these little beans, Demeter?"

"Well, you're going to plant them, and they'll grow into something magical."

"If I take them, will you take my obese cow Spot?"

"Sure, Jason!"

So with Spot off his hands, Jason headed home to tell Thalia the great present that Demeter had given him.

"You WHAT?!" Thalia screamed. "Jason, we could've had a new home for that cow!"

"But, Thals, Demeter said it'll grow into something magical."

"No! Now, go to bed!"

"Aw."

Thalia threw the beans into the garden and began to eat her dinner of gruel alone.

The next morning, Jason awoke to find a large tree growing in his garden. It wasn't a tree, though. It was a bean stock!

Hey, Jason thought, if I can climb it, maybe there's money at the top of it!

So Jason began the three-thousand-foot journey to the top of the bean stock.

When Jason arrived at the top, there was a UPS store awaiting him. Mailrooms were full of money sometimes, so Jason headed inside.

When he got inside, something golden and beautiful caught his eye. He turned and saw a golden goose that laid golden eggs sitting to his right. He blinked and was about to grab it, when a voice bellowed: "FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM! GET OUT OF MY UPS STORE, YOUNG JAY-SON!"

Jason grabbed the goose anyway and turned to see Hermes the Giant running at him.

"Oh, crap," Jason muttered. He bolted for the bean stock, but Hermes was right on his tail.

Jason jumped on the golden goose and flew down to the ground. The golden goose almost squashed Thalia, for she was standing right below him.

"What did you do?" she snarled at him. "What's this?"

"Long story. This is a goose and it'll make us rich. That's the giant, Hermes, and he wants his golden goose back. But I an't giving it back to him, now am I?" Jason said.

"FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM! FORK OVER MY GOOSE, YOUNG JAY-SON!" Hermes yelled.

"Nah, don't feel like it."

Thalia came running outside with a huge axe. "Timber!" she yelled, chopping the bean stock down. The axe cut through Hermes, and he vanished.

Many years later, Jason and Thalia were living in their mansion with the golden goose, that laid golden eggs for them three times a month, and they'd sell it for money.

But the two of them missed the bean stock, but they didn't grow another one, because they knew that Hermes would reform at the top of it.

**All right, guys. Check out my poll, and sorry if it was OOC.**


	7. Snow White and the Seven Demigods

**SPECIAL MESSAGE**

**Hey y'all! Here's why I'm writing nonstop. I'm going on choir tour for 5 days next week, so that means I won't have access to my computer (aww!). So, yeah, very upset about that. And also, all of you have given me great ideas. I can't give you credit individually right now, but HERE'S A BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF YOU WHO'VE GIVEN ME AWESOME IDEAS! I've made a huge list of what I thought were fairy tales and your ideas as well. So keep 'em coming, and I'll add them to my list!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**FAIRY TALE 6: SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DEMIGODS**

In the far away land of Camp Half-Blood lived an old jerk named King Dionysus. He was the biggest jerk in Camp Half-Blood, and had a real taste for wine. When he wasn't drinking, he talked to his royal assistant Tantalus, who was stuck in the Underworld, but came in the form of a magic mirror.

Tantalus had no life, so he was always talking to Dionysus in his mirror form.

One day, Dionysus had a huge fight with the activities director Chiron. This made Dionysus so mad. So he went to his office and stared at the mirror. "Tantalus, Tantalus, on the wall! Who is the coolest of them all?"

"Well," Tantalus began, "that centaur dude is pretty cool."

"Yeah, see, I want to get rid of him."

"All right, King Dionysus. Here's what you're going to do. Send a message to Artemis and tell her to kill Chiron with a knife."

So Dionysus called upon Artemis to kill Chiron with a knife.

Artemis headed into the woods of Camp Half-Blood where Chiron was picking wildflowers and singing to the birds.

By the way, you're probably wondering why Chiron is called Snow White. Well, he had the lower half of a while stallion, so that was why.

"Weirdo," Artemis muttered when she saw Chiron singing and picking wildflowers. "Sir Chiron! I have something for you!"

"What is it?"

"Uh…" Artemis gripped her knife. "You know what? King Dionysus wants me to kill you with this knife. But I can't find it in my heart to do it. Therefore, you must run away as far as possible, and do not come back. There's a small cottage in the woods. Go there. I'll send forth a message so they can expect you."

Chiron galloped into the woods and came upon a small cottage. He saw that the door was closed, and there was no one in sight. The only living things there were a bunch of spiders and flies.

"Ew," said Chiron, but he still went inside because Artemis told him to.

Meanwhile, Artemis was told to bring back Chiron's heart for King Dionysus as proof she'd killed him. "I just can't do that," she said. "So I guess I'll have to get something else."

Artemis deeply regretted the satyr she'd slaughtered, for she was the goddess of hunting. Nevertheless, she brought the satyr's heart back to King Dionysus in a box.

Meanwhile, Chiron went inside the cottage, and said, "Ew! Gross! What kind of slobs live here?"

"We do!" said a voice.

Seven kids came into the cottage. They all lined up and said their names. Chiron met Sick (Tyson), Depressed (Nico), Annoying (Percy), Smelly (Grover), Stupid (Clarisse), Smart (Annabeth), and Pretty (Piper). All of them looked pretty offended.

"Sorry," Chiron said. "How about we get this house cleaned up, huh?"

"Of course!" said the demigods. "But we hate cleaning."

"Well, not if you sing a song while you work!" Chiron began to whistle a tune, and the demigods followed. Pretty soon, the house was completely clean. No cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and no spiders dangled from underneath the staircase.

"Well," said Nico, who seemed like he'd be the one in charge, "it's time for dinner."

"Oh, don't bother with dinner," said Chiron happily. "I'll make you kids some dinner. But you need to wash up first."

Once dinner was made, they all sat down and talked.

"What do you do for a living?" asked Percy.

"Well, I work for King Dionysus, scrubbing the floors of his castle, and occasionally rubbing his feet," Chiron replied.

"Why'd you run off?" asked Nico.

"Because he wanted to murder me or something. Artemis the Huntress told to run here. And I found you seven." Chiron took their bowls of stew away. "Upstairs to bed now. You have a big day of—what do you guys do for a living?"

"Oh, we work in a coalmine because we can't get a job anywhere else," said Nico sadly.

"Kid, you gotta work on your happiness issues," Chiron said, looking very concerned. "Good night."

Back at King Dionysus' castle, Dionysus looked inside of the box. "Ah! Chiron is dead! Sweet! Tantalus, Tantalus, on the wall. Who NOW is the coolest one of all?"

Tantalus the mirror replied, "Chiron still lives like he is in heaven. He lives in the woods with demigods, seven."

"Nope," Dionysus contradicted. "Artemis has slain him. Here is his heart!"

Tantalus sighed. "Chiron still lives, the coolest in the land. That's the heart of a satyr you hold in your hand."

"WHAT?!"

Dionysus threw the satyr's heart to the side and ordered for Artemis to go to the Godly Prison. Then he went down to his dungeon where he concocted all of his wines and booze.

"I can't believe that little crap did that!" Dionysus snapped, smashing the box. Heart juice flew everywhere. "Fine. I'll just have to go there myself, and I'll be disguised so he doesn't know it's me."

He took out a potion book and glanced at the pages. "Ah! All I need to make me older is some spider venom, some rattlesnake teeth, and the droppings of a rat." Luckily, he experimented a lot, and he had all of those ingredients to make himself at least sixty-five years older than he looked now. He drank the potion and POOF! He was an old man with a cane.

"Now, I must figure out a way to kill that freaking centaur," he said excitedly. "Let's see here…I could do a poison apple, but that seems too suspicious. Besides, Chiron knows these fairy tales inside and out. I can't possibly trick him. Ah, here we go! A poison banana!"

So he mixed a few potions together and dipped the banana into it. It came out looking like a regular yellow banana.

Back at the cottage the next morning, Chiron was seeing the demigods off to work. "Be good and don't die," Chiron called.

"We won't!"

Chiron smiled and nodded to himself. He went into the kitchen to make a blueberry pie. He was suddenly stopped by an old man carrying a basket of fruit and using a cane.

"Hi," said Chiron. "What's up?"

"Uh…I was wondering…I sensed you're making a pie?"

"Yeah, blueberry pie."

"Oh, but that would go great with a banana."

Chiron wrinkled his nose. "If I was making a banana split I'd need one, but I probably won't need a banana for this pie. But thanks for stopping by."

"C'mon," said the old man. "Try something new for once!"

"Fine."

"How about you cut off a little piece of the banana for yourself, hmm?"

"I guess that'd be okay."

Chiron took out a knife and sliced off a small piece of the banana and ate it. "Wow…I feel really weird."

The animals sensed that Chiron was in trouble, so they brought the demigods. A couple stayed behind to revive Chiron, and the others went and chased Dionysus off of a cliff…where he died.

They had a sad funeral for Chiron. Suddenly, Annabeth had an idea. "Don't we have to kiss him to make him wake up?"

"No," Percy and Nico said quickly.

"Fine," said Annabeth. "I'll do it. Chiron's my friend, too." She kissed Chiron on the lips and Chiron woke up.

Okay, so Chiron and Annabeth didn't get married, but the demigods proposed that he continue to live in the house with them. And he did.

And they had to break poor Artemis out of prison and bring Tantalus the magic mirror to the house with them.


	8. Little Red Riding Hood

**Thanks so much for your reviews! I'll try to get stuff posted quickly before I go on tour!**

**FAIRY TALE 7: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD**

"Clarisse, dear!" her mother called. "Come here for a moment, please!"

Clarisse bounded into the kitchen. "What's wrong, mom?"

"I need you to run these freshly baked cookies to your grandmother's house. She's not feeling very well, and she called and said she'd like some of my cookies."

Clarisse put on her red coat and put the hood over her head, because it was raining outside.

It was a long walk through the woods, but Clarisse enjoyed that very much. Now she could reflect upon her life and how lucky she was that she was living with her weird father Ares and her mother.

Just then Big Bad God Hades came around the corner because he smelled something delicious.

"What's that, little girl?" he asked Clarisse.

"Oh, this? It's nothing. Just some cookies for my sick grandma."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Would you like a list?"

"No. Can I have one?"

"No. My mom suggested I give ALL of them to her. So, no, you cannot have one." Clarisse ran off.

"Oh, yeah?" asked Hades evilly. "We'll see about that."

Hades the Big Bad God ran in the opposite direction of Clarisse. Plus, it was the shorter route, so he'd reach grandma's house faster.

Hades reached a little red house and knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" asked grandma.

"It's…uh…it's me," said Hades in a falsetto voice. "I have something for you, grandma."

"Oh, my!" said grandma. "I can't wait for these cookies—"

"Ha ha ha! I have you now." Hades, who still couldn't break his eating-people habit, wolfed her down.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Crap," Hades mumbled to himself. He put on grandma's nightgown and jumped into bed. He picked up a magazine just as Clarisse entered the house.

"Hey, grandma! I have some cookies for you!"

Clarisse entered grandma's room. "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!"

"The better to yell at you with, my dear," Hades snapped.

"What a thick beard you have!"

"Oh, honey, I'm on this medicine for this bronchitis I have. Its side effects include growing a beard."

"And what big teeth you have!"

"The better to eat you with!"

Hades grabbed Clarisse and was about to eat her, but then the door crashed to the floor, and Zoe Nightshade, the keeper of the woods, ran into the room.

"Unhand that girl, you vicious beast!" Zoe said.

"Aw!" Hades dropped her to the floor. "Why is it that every time I can eat something, someone always ruins it?"

"I get thy problem," Zoe replied. "Do not despair, Clarisse La Rue. I shall get thy grandma out of him!" Clarisse backed away as Zoe sawed through Hades stomach, and out came grandma.

Grandma hugged Clarisse and Zoe. "Thank you, girls! Let's get rid of this pest and celebrate with some cookies!"

"Grandma, are you on medicine that makes you grow a beard?"

"No, dear, but I am on many pills that give me gas, heartburn, and depression."

After tying Hades up and throwing him in grandma's swimming pool, the three girls sat down and enjoyed some delicious cookies and milk.


	9. The Gingerbread Man

**Thanks for reviewing! Nora, this one's for you, too!**

**FAIRY TALE 8: THE GINGERBREAD MAN**

Hephaestus was sitting in his forge one day, bored out of his mind. Aphrodite had cheated on him yet again, and if he wanted to visit his parents, they'd just pitch him off Olympus.

Out of the blue, Hephaestus had an idea. "I'll make a gingerbread man! And he'll be my new friend!"

So Hephaestus went to work. He made the gingerbread man, added some gumdrops for eyes, a chocolate chip for a nose, and drew a smile on him with vanilla frosting. Then he gave him some chocolate buttons.

When he was finished, he said a few magic words in Greek, and the gingerbread man sat up on the cookie sheet.

"I've done it!" yelled Hephaestus happily. "Now you can be my only friend!" He was about to grab him, when the gingerbread man hopped off the table. "Hey, where are you going?" Hephaestus asked it.

"Run, run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man!" And he ran off.

Hephaestus then went back to being all sad and lonely.

The gingerbread man ran on Olympus to Aphrodite's palace. He knocked on the door.

"Oh, what a CUTE little gingerbread man!" Aphrodite squealed.

"I've run away from Hephaestus, and I can run from you, too, I can! Run, run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man!" And he ran off.

Aphrodite said, "I don't want to chase you anyway! It'll ruin my hair!"

The gingerbread man ran into Apollo, who was walking down the street on his way to the store. "Well, look at you! You must be the little cookie guy Hephaestus made! Here, let me recite a haiku and in your honor:

_The gingerbread man,_

_A little, little cookie,_

_Made by Hephaestus."_

"I've run away from Hephaestus and a squealing chick, and I can run away from you, too, I can!" And the gingerbread man ran off.

"Yeah, I don't want to chase you," Apollo said after him. "I have better things to do. Like making haikus for my many girlfriends."

By and by, the gingerbread man came upon Ares and Athena having an argument. "Whoa, look at that!" said Ares. "What is it?"

"It looks like a different species," said Athena smartly.

"No, duh," Ares snapped.

"I've run from Hephaestus, squealing chick, sun boy, and now I'll run from you!" And the gingerbread man ran off.

He ran into Poseidon, Hera, Demeter, and Zeus, who were trying not to have an argument, but it was going to end that way anyway.

Hera gasped. "Aw! Did Hephaestus make you?"

"Yeah," the gingerbread man said boldly.

"You look so cute!" squealed Demeter.

"I thought I was done with squealing chicks! There's this one chick who just squeals at everything!"

"Who? Aphrodite?" asked Poseidon.

The gingerbread man nodded.

"Yeah, she always does that." Poseidon licked his lips. "Can we eat you?"

"No! I've run from lots and lots of people today, and I can run away from you, too, I can!" And he ran off.

"Yeah, I made some cookies yesterday," Demeter said.

The gingerbread man was getting pretty tired of annoying people and daring them to chase him. Soon he came to a deep lake.

"Aw, man!" he ranted. "Well, I can't swim across because I'll fall apart."

"I can help you," said a creepy voice.

"Who are you?" asked the gingerbread man.

"I'm Luke Castellan," said Luke. "Why don't you hop on my head and I'll get you across the river."

"Uh…okay."

So the gingerbread man hopped on Luke Castellan's head.

When Luke got up to his chin, he said to the gingerbread man, "Hey, I need to see you. Slide down onto my nose."

The gingerbread man slid on Luke's nose.

Now, this was Luke's perfect chance. "Ah!" he yelled, jumping up and down in the water. "A shark!"

"Where? Where is it?"

"It's going to eat you first!" Luke sneered. "Quick! Get inside my mouth!"

The gingerbread man got into Luke's mouth, and Luke ate him.


	10. Aphrodite and the Three Satyrs

**Here's the next fairy tale, guys! I hope you all like it! Feel free to PM me with more ideas.**

**For some reason, my poll thingy wasn't working, so here's the new question: "The Legend of Sleepy Hallow" or "Aladdin?" Either way, I'll write both of them! Which one do you want to hear first?**

**Also, feel free to PM me with stories that aren't fairy tales. I can easily write things like "Willy Wonka." I told my mom about this story and she was like, "You should totally do Willy Wonka." And I was like, "Okay! I'll see what the other people think!"**

**Disclaimer: DUH! NOTHIN'!**

**FAIRY TALE 9: APHRODITE AND THE THREE SATYRS**

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman named Aphrodite Golden. She didn't have a real last name, but she was called that because she had long blonde hair that flowed down her back in braids.

Although Aphrodite was very beautiful, she was also very dumb. She'd always be getting herself into trouble, no matter where she went.

Like one day, she went to the Olympus Swimming Pool and Golf Resort, and she blew half the rooms up and set fire to the spa. Don't ask how or why, but she just did it.

Anyway, Aphrodite decided that she would go out for a morning walk through the woods. So she packed a few things and off down the path she went.

It was a very sunny day, and Aphrodite was skipping down the path. Suddenly, she fell into a huge puddle of mud.

"Ew!" she screamed, and got up. "Now my beautiful dress won't be beautiful anymore!"

She walked on a little further, and she soon came upon a small cabin. "Ah," she said to herself, "maybe someone in there will let me use their laundry machine."

She knocked on the door, and found it was open. While normal people would continue to knock, she decided to go inside the cabin.

Inside, she saw three chairs and a table with three bowls set atop it.

"Well, there isn't a laundry machine. But I do need a rest." She sat in the largest chair and found that it was too big. "Nope!" she said. She sat down in the second chair, but it was too small. "How is someone able to fit in here?" She tried the third chair, and it was just right.

Aphrodite's stomach started to growl, so she went to the table. Inside each bowl was a serving of lumpy oatmeal. "Ick," she said, disgusted, but she was so hungry. She went to one of the bowls and ate a spoonful. "Too hot!" She went to the second bowl. "Too cold!" she said, shivering. Now when she ate a spoonful from the third bowl, she said, "Ah…just right!" And she ate it all up.

Now, as it usually happens when people eat a nice meal, they get very tired. So Aphrodite went around the house looking for a place to sleep.

She soon came upon a small bedroom, complete with three beds, a flat-screen, sixty-five-inch TV, and a fan.

Aphrodite went over to the first bed, but it was too hard. She went to the second bed, but found it was too soft. Finally, she went to the third bed, and found it was just right. So she fell asleep.

Now this house didn't belong to a god, nymph, or demigod. It belonged to three satyrs—Grover Underwood, Silenus, and Gleason Hedge. They'd gone out to get Hedge some more coffee, but Grover apparently had forgotten to lock the door.

"Are you done picking wildflowers?" Hedge snapped at Silenus and Grover. "We gotta go, 'cause SOMEBODY forgot to lock the door!"

"Oh, so now it's MY fault that our house could have somebody in it?" Grover asked.

"Yeah!" Gleason Hedge led the way home along the path. "Move it, cupcakes!"

"Please don't eat us," Silenus begged.

When they arrived at their cabin, Gleason grunted. "Hmph! Wonder why our door is open." He turned angrily to Grover.

"Anything else remotely offensive you'd wish to bestow upon me?" Grover asked, aggravated.

"You do this again, I'll resurrect a bunch of stupid zombies and have them chase you into the woods…FOREVER!" Hedge stepped inside. "Hey! Someone's been sitting in my recliner!"

"Mine, too," said Silenus.

"Mine, too," Grover repeated. "Look, guys! Over there by the table! There's oatmeal everywhere!"

"Yeah," said Hedge. "Someone's been eating my oatmeal."

"Mine, too," said Silenus.

"Mine's all gone. Can I eat your guys'?" asked Grover.

"No!"

"Oh. Okay."

The followed the trail of muddy footprints to their bedroom.

"Don't tell me," said Grover. "Someone's been sleeping in our beds?"

"Uh-huh," said Hedge. "I'm mad now."

"I've found her! Wake up, Blondie!" yelled Silenus.

Aphrodite woke up, rubbed her eyes, and focused on the satyrs. "Like, ew!" She grabbed her belongings and bolted out of the house.

"Who was that?" asked Grover.

"Don't worry about it. We should've eaten her in place of our oatmeal, but I think it was right to let her go," said Hedge. "C'mon, boys. Let's go make us some more lumpy oatmeal!"

**REMEMBER: DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE QUESTIONS. PM ME OR LEAVE A REVIEW WITH IDEAS…THANKS FOR READING! **


	11. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

**Percy81511 suggested I go back to doing introductions before the stories. So, I'll give it a try.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney's "The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" (where I got the Sleepy Hallow plot from) or Washington Irving.**

**WITH ANNABETH AND ATHENA**

"Mommy!" yelled Annabeth. "Why can't I eat more candy like Pewcy did?"

"Because I said so," said Athena. "Now, it's time for bed. Put your candy on the counter, please."

"Okay."

"And go upstairs and brush your teeth."

"Okay."

"And when you're done with that, I'll tell you a story about Halloween."

"Okay!"

After Annabeth got ready for bed, Athena sat with her daughter on the bed and began the story.

**THE HEADLESS TITAN**

A long time ago in the eighteenth century, there was a place known as Sleepy Hollow. It was just outside New York, and it was a wonderful place to be, except around Halloween.

If one walked through the town, nothing would've seemed unusual. There were markets and people drinking, and a bunch of other things. But at night, when everyone had gone inside, ghosts were said to have come out of the trees and haunt the hallow.

Although there were many legends about what had happened in Sleepy Hallow, the best one tells of a man named Perseus Jackson, who came from his lovely home in Manhattan, New York, to teach school in the village.

Now, Perseus Jackson didn't let his dyslexia or ADHD bother him, and gladly accepted the job after the old schoolmaster was found dead in the outhouse one morning.

Perseus, on top of being ADHD and dyslexic, was tall with black hair and green eyes. During school days, he'd teach children about reading and math. But during his free time, he hunted down hot women, but he was always dumped because they found he'd been cheating on them.

It was a breezy autumn afternoon when Perseus arrived in Sleepy Hollow, and of course, the town was so quiet and boring that no one really noticed him at first.

While Perseus was becoming familiar with the town, along came the town sweetheart, Luke Castellan, who rode a black horse named Pegasus. He, like Perseus, was always hitting on girls, but he'd go out with them for months before they dumped him. And there weren't many girls in Sleepy Hollow, so Luke Castellan seemed to get depressed quite often.

"Whoa, Pegasus!" Luke ordered. "Hey, guys! I brought some beer for us!"

"Ah, Mr. Castellan! How charming to see you again!" his friends—Jason Grace, Leo Valdez, and Nico di Angelo—saluted.

As Luke poured the beer, he noticed Perseus Jackson walking down the street, reading a book upside down.

"Good day," Perseus called. "Where is the schoolhouse? I am due to teach there quite soon."

"Well," said Luke, "it's down the road. And who might you be?"

"I am Perseus Jackson, and I've come here on an urgent request to take the job of schooling children."

"Ah," said Jason Grace, drinking his beer with delight. "Good luck, Mr. Jackson."

Now Perseus Jackson was a great schoolteacher, and he was always inviting himself to the students' houses. See, the students had single mothers, and Mr. Jackson was always trying to hit on them, but was always unsuccessful, much to his disappointment.

One day, there was word that a beautiful woman was in town. Her name: Annabeth Chase, the daughter of the great historian Dr. Frederick Chase. When all the men stopped and looked at her, they were all asking her to go out with them. But Annabeth would simply reply, "No, no. I've only just moved here. I cannot go out with you boys quite yet."

When Perseus saw her, he almost died of a heart attack. But when Luke saw her, he knew that she must be his. So Luke decided to be Perseus' enemy, and go after Annabeth before Perseus got to her.

Luke followed Annabeth wherever she went, and soon discovered that she was with Perseus.

This did not make Luke happy, as you can imagine. So he knew that he had to devise a plan to get Perseus out of the way so HE could be with the daughter of Dr. Chase.

Not long after Annabeth and her father had moved in, her father came to her one day while she was in her room.

"Dear," he said, "I'm still planning on having the Halloween frolic. Is there anyone special you wish to invite?"

"Oh, those two nice boys, Perseus Jackson and Luke Castellan."

So Annabeth wrote a letter to each of the boys while her father did the rest of the invitations.

On Halloween night, the two boys were getting ready to smooch Annabeth Chase to their hearts' content. Perseus mounted his black horse Blackjack, and Luke mounted Pegasus, and they both arrived at the party fashionably late.

A few hours after they'd danced with Annabeth, Luke had had enough of Perseus' interruptions of their frolicking. So Luke quickly had to devise a plan to get rid of the schoolmaster.

Suddenly, Luke saw Perseus at the table getting food. But as he was carrying his plate away, Perseus accidently knocked over a salt shaker, spilling salt over the table. Glancing down, Perseus put the plate down, took a pinch of salt, and threw it over his left shoulder.

"So, he's superstitious," Luke said to himself. NOW he had an idea to get him out of the way.

"I've got a story!" he announced. "Does anyone know the story of the headless titan?"

Quite a few audience members didn't.

"Well, when the clock strikes midnight, down in the hollow, all the ghosts and the dead come out of their graves and they frolic, much like we're doing right now. There are many phantoms, but the worst is the headless titan. He rides on his steed named Hyperion, and he misses his head so much that he carries a pumpkin head filled with flames. Don't let him catch you! For if he does, he'll cut your head off and use it as his own."

The crowd was startled. Perseus was shaking. He finally blurted out, "How can we escape it?"

"There's only one way to go," said Luke solemnly. "There's a covered bridge over a small river. If you cross that bridge, the headless titan and his steed cannot follow you."

After the party, Perseus Jackson headed for home. The awful story began to haunt his mind as he made his way through the hollow. Blackjack was very tired tonight, so Perseus was moving very slowly.

Suddenly, he heard the wind blowing, and some crickets making noises. He swore they were saying his name. _Perseus. Perseus._

Two minutes later, he came to a tree with an owl sitting atop a branch. It was hooting at him, which made him even more scared.

Soon after, he came to a creek with a frog sitting on a lily pad. Perseus thought it was saying _headless titan…headless titan_ over and over again, when it really should've been croaking.

Suddenly a branch fell in the wind and hit the back of Perseus' jacket. He yelped and realized it was only the branch, and patted Blackjack to keep him going.

Pretty soon, Blackjack stopped moving. Now they were right by the churchyard and Perseus could hear hooves galloping toward him. But it wasn't Blackjack's, because Blackjack had stopped moving.

With the hairs on his neck starting to rise frantically, he turned around just as he heard the howl of a coyote in the distance.

Perseus Jackson began to run, until he tripped over a log, revealing cattails that were beating against the log. He grabbed one and began to laugh, but his laughs were drowned out by another laugh, sounding much more evil and creepy.

Perseus and Blackjack turned to see the headless titan, complete with his steed, a fiery pumpkin, and a sword, running toward them.

In a panic, Perseus mounted Blackjack and the Pegasus began to gallop like he'd never galloped before. The headless titan and the steed Hyperion began chasing them.

The group circled a tree, and Blackjack literally flew across the bridge to the other side, but not before the headless titan threw the flaming pumpkin at him.

The next morning, Mr. Jackson's hat was found, and the fiery pumpkin was right next to it.

Shortly thereafter, Luke Castellan had proposed to the fair Annabeth Chase, and the pair of them got married.

But rumors had it that Perseus Jackson was still alive, married to somebody else. But people were controversial, because they all knew what had happened on that night with the headless titan.

**WITH ANNABETH AND ATHENA**

"Wait," Annabeth said, looking puzzled, "are you saying that Perseus died, Mommy?"

"No, honey. We're not sure what happened to him. But it's all fake, sweetie. It's not real."

"Yeah. Okay."

"Good night, Annabeth." Athena kissed her daughter on the head and put on her CD for her to help get Annabeth off to sleep.

Athena then went downstairs and began to eat her daughter's Halloween candy like the mean goddess of wisdom she was. Luckily, though, she'd bought five bags of candy so Annabeth wouldn't be too angry if Athena ended up eating all of the candy.


	12. The Little Merman

**Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

**WITH PERCY AND POSEIDON**

"Dad, tell me another story before I go to bed!" Percy begged his father.

"All right, my boy. Let's see…Have you ever heard of The Little Merman?"

"No," Percy replied.

**FAIRY TALE 11: THE LITTLE MERMAN**

Long ago, under the sea, there lived a community of fish ruled over by King Poseidon. He had many children, which included Tyson the Cyclops, Triton, and Percy. Percy was King Poseidon's youngest, so Poseidon gave Percy anything he wanted because he was Poseidon's favorite.

One day, the three sons of King Poseidon decided to put on a show for their father. All of them were quite gifted at singing, except Percy, who was being forced to do the show anyway.

"And now…" said Triton happily, "we proudly present Tyson, Triton, and Percy!" Triton pulled the curtain of the castle auditorium up, and got up on stage.

"Um, Triton, my boy," said Poseidon, "where's Percy?"

Triton looked off to his right. "I don't know."

Percy wasn't there because he was exploring the ocean. The ocean was a big place for a small merman like Percy.

Percy was exploring with his friend Grover the flounder.

"Hey, Grover."

"Huh?"

"You ever hate the ocean?"

"Nah, I kinda live here. Why would I hate it?"

"I don't know," Percy replied solemnly. "I've always been curious as to the human life."

"Phh!" Grover whistled. "Humans are lame. You don't want anything to do with them. First off, they eat creatures like us…me included."

"No they don't."

"Yeah they do! Perce, remember that one guy who was really cool?"

"Jason?"

"Yeah, and how he was playing on a fish hook one day, and went up to the human world?"

"Yeah…" Percy remembered thoughtfully.

"That's where you'll go if you don't watch it." Grover looked around and spotted a shark that was looking at them funny. "Or you could end up in a shark's stomach."

"What?"

The shark broke through the beams of the ship they were hanging out under and the two friends rushed out.

Percy may have been Poseidon's favorite son, but that didn't stop Poseidon from scolding him.

"Percy! I'm very disappointed in you!"

"Yeah, dad, I get it."

"What you have done has ruined my reputation."

"Huh?"

"Forget it! Now, go sit in the Shell of Time-Outs."

Percy sat in the Shell of Time-Outs for five minutes before something caught his eye. At the surface of the ocean, he saw strange lights and the bottom of a huge cruise ship. Percy went to investigate.

His head broke the surface of the water, and he found he was, in fact, glancing at a giant cruise ship. Fireworks were being shot into the sky, although Percy didn't know what fireworks were…because he was a merman.

"Aw, cool," Percy said to himself, and swan toward the cruise ship.

On the ship, a beautiful woman was having a glass of red wine while her mother was getting seasick on the side of the boat.

"Mom! I told you to take those pills!" the young girl yelled.

Her mother didn't answer as another bout of seasickness took over her.

The girl huffed and stared out at the water.

Another man, who could've been her father, came over to her and patted her on the shoulder. "You know, if you got married, you could go on a cruise ship like this for your honeymoon."

"And?"

"Sweetheart, just find a guy so you can get married. If we die, you'll be the queen, but you need a king beside you…making rules along with you."

"Dad! Shut up!"

"Annabeth! C'mon! Daddy's just joking!" The man walked away.

The girl called Annabeth sighed and looked out onto the water again. She caught Percy's eye and smiled at him.

Percy smiled back, but it instantly faded when he saw the full moon above them be covered with dark storm clouds.

On the ship, the captain yelled, "STORM! HEAD UNDER THE DECK!"

The ship began to wobble as the waves began to take a turn for the worst.

Percy immediately saw some people fly off the boat and drop into the water. They were good swimmers, though, and got back onto the boat safely.

Then Percy saw the beautiful girl named Annabeth fall into the water.

"Oh, come on!" Percy yelled, swimming rapidly towards her. He threw Annabeth onto his back and carried her safely to the shore.

It was nearing morning now. Percy could see the sun rising, and the remains of the ship in the water. Although the ship was still in good shape, there were quite a few passengers and crew members missing.

Annabeth was unconscious, so Percy laid her on the sand and began to sing a lullaby about the sea. Annabeth's eyes flew open and she saw Percy. She blushed and smiled, but Percy heard someone coming and quickly disappeared into the water, back to the Realm of Poseidon.

Meanwhile, Annabeth's mother Athena came rushing towards her. "Annabeth! We thought you'd drowned!"

"No, mom, I'm fine," Annabeth said shortly.

"What're you looking at, dear?"

"Oh, nothing. There was this really hot boy—"

"Interesting. C'mon, let's go home."

Annabeth sighed and walked with Athena toward the castle, where her father greeted her with open arms.

Back in the Realm of Poseidon, Percy was humming love songs to himself while Tyson and Triton looked at him funny.

"Who's the lucky chick?" asked Triton eagerly, rubbing his hands together.

"Not sure," Percy said dreamily. "She was blonde and tan…and pretty thin. She almost drowned so I thought I'd save her. That's the right thing to do, right?"

"What's the right thing to do?" Poseidon asked, entering his son's room.

"Uh…dad…what would you say if I told you I like a girl?"

"I'd say you kiss her and get married!"

"No, no. I mean, like, a human girl."

Poseidon choked on his kelp beer. "W-what did you say, Perseus?"

"I said what would happen if I liked a human girl?"

**Twenty minutes of father-trying-not-to-kill-his-son later…**

"IS THAT CLEAR?" Poseidon rumbled, causing an earthquake in the world above.

"Yeah, dad. It's crystal clear."

"Good. Now go…do something that's not annoying in any way, shape, or form."

While things were going not so well in the Realm of Poseidon, things were going much worse in the lair of Oceanus.

Oceanus and his evil sidekicks, Typhon and Polyphemus, were playing a relaxing game of cards by Oceanus' Garden of Doom and Sadness.

"Got any fours, Typhon?" asked Oceanus.

"Nope. Go fish," Typhon replied.

"I really hate you right now."

"I know that. We're both mean, so why wouldn't we hate each other?"

"Good point."

"Guys! Look!"

Polyphemus pointed toward the entrance to the Garden of Doom and Sadness.

"Who's that?" asked Typhon.

"I believe it is the son of Poseidon, trying to tell me to go live somewhere else because his daddy doesn't like me," Oceanus replied bluntly. "Polyphemus, offer him a glass of sea soda while I talk with him."

Percy was given some sea soda—a green mixture that tasted like Mountain Dew, but not as carbonated.

"So, Percy, why are you so lonely?" Oceanus asked, sitting in an armchair next to a couch.

Percy was lying flat on his back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling of the lair. "Well, my dad doesn't want me flirting with some human girl."

"And you like her?"

"Oh, yeah. I do."

"All right. How about I make you a deal?"

Percy sat up. "You can do that?"

"Hello! Sea-wizard!" Oceanus pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. "Now, here's the deal. I'll make you human for three days. By the end of those three days, you gotta get this girl to fall in love with you. She has to kiss you, but she's got to mean it! Now if this happens before the third day, you'll be a human forever. But if it doesn't, you turn back into a merman and you belong…to ME!"

Percy thought about it for a minute.

"Deal?" Oceanus prompted.

"Wait, don't I have to give something in return?"

"Oh, yeah!" Oceanus pulled out a list of all the favors Percy could owe him. "I could cut off one of your ears…"

"No."

"I could cut out your tongue."

"Anything that doesn't involve removal of body parts?"

"Hmm." Oceanus scanned the list. "I could take your voice, Percy."

"Why?"

"That's the favor you could owe me. If this girl falls in love with you before sunset on the third day, I'll give it back to you."

"Cool."

"Deal?"

"Deal!"

The two men shook hands and Oceanus called Typhon and Polyphemus over. "Boys, I need you to rip Percy's larynx out and put it in this locket."

"Why?" Typhon asked.

"Because I said so!" Oceanus snapped.

"Okay. Percy, come back to the operating room."

Percy was in pain for a couple of days after the "operation," so he rested. When he finally recovered, Oceanus gave him human legs and sent him up to find Annabeth.

Sure enough, they found each other, and Annabeth felt so bad for Percy's lost voice that she'd invited him into her home with her.

"So, Percy, tell us where you're from," said Dr. Chase.

"Dad! He can't talk!"

"Oh, that's right. Sorry, Percy. I'm just so used to people replying to my questions immediately."

Under the sea, Poseidon, Amphitrite, Tyson, and Triton were all praying over their dinner.

"We thank the gods that they don't come down here…ever," said Triton.

"And we thank the gods that Percy found a hot girl," Tyson replied.

Poseidon glowered at his sons. "What was that, boys?"

"Dad, we can't find Percy anywhere," said Tyson. "I heard that he went up to the surface to see a hot girl…and she's BLONDE!"

Poseidon glowered at Tyson and Triton at the same time. "WHY WEREN'T YOU FREAKING WATCHING HIM?"

"Dad! He's sixteen!" Triton yelled.

"UGH!"

Back on the surface of the water, Percy and Annabeth were going on a romantic ride on the waves.

"So, don't tell me where you're from," Annabeth said kindly. "LA?"

Percy said nothing.

"New York?"

Percy shook his head vigorously.

Suddenly, one of Percy's friends—Grover—came up and said, "Under the sea."

"Under the sea?"

Percy nodded.

"I love it!" And as soon as Annabeth went in to kiss him, the boat tipped over.

"Aw, too close!" Oceanus cackled. "I'll get back at him for that! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Uh…Oceanus," Typhon said seriously. "We gonna finish Go Fish?"

"NO!"

It was the third day, and Percy was organizing his human underwear when he heard a loud giggle coming from the living room. He peered over the balcony of the second floor to find Annabeth talking to a very attractive young man.

The man looked like he was about seventeen or eighteen, and had black hair and green eyes. He was about as tall as Percy was. And he looked almost like Percy, but he had a huge mole on his left cheek. If Annabeth didn't like that, she didn't say anything.

"So, Oscar, where are you from?" Annabeth questioned.

"I'm from the ocean as well, like Percy is."

"Oh! You know about Percy, huh?"

"Yep! Lord Poseidon—the king of the sea—wanted me to come looking for him. But I ran into this hot girl right here." Oscar (Oceanus) got down on one knee. "Annabeth Athena Chase, will you become Mrs. Oscar Seas?"

"Of course! Let's have the wedding today! At sunset!"

Crap, Percy thought to himself. He wanted to tell Annabeth that he wanted to marry her, but he was too late.

Oscar the Weirdo grabbed Annabeth's hand and they walked out the door to buy wedding stuff.

A few hours later, all of the wedding guests began to arrive on a large cruise ship, just like the one that was half-destroyed in the storm a few days ago.

Annabeth was in a beautiful white dress that flowed everywhere. Both Athena and Dr. Chase were holding it for her while she walked. On the other hand, Oscar was wearing a tuxedo and looking very stuck-up.

"Do you, Oscar Seas, take Annabeth Chase to be your wife?" a man asked.

"I do," Oscar replied, taking Annabeth's hand in his own.

"And Annabeth? Do you?"

"I do," Annabeth said without a hint of sadness in her voice that she wasn't marrying Percy.

Suddenly, Oscar sneezed. It wouldn't have been a big deal if the locket was already halfway off of him. It fell to the floor of the ship and broke open. Percy's voice returned to his throat, and Percy began speaking to Annabeth about how he felt for her.

"Oh, so you DO talk!" Annabeth cried, hugging Percy.

"Yeah, but here's the deal," Oscar sneered. "You were supposed to kiss Percy BEFORE sunset today, or he'd turn back into a merman and belong to me."

"Percy?"

"Yeah, well, I was the dude who helped you to safety on land…and sang to you."

"So it was you!"

"Yep."

Annabeth kissed Percy passionately, just as the sun began to set.

"Yeah, see, you're too late, sweetie." Oscar morphed into Oceanus, who grabbed Percy and jumped into the water with him. "So, our deal's off then," said Oceanus gleefully. "Where is Poseidon?"

"Probably in the game room of his palace. Or maybe he's drinking a beer. I'm not sure," Percy admitted sheepishly.

"Fine. Poseidon! POSEIDON!"

Poseidon swam over to Oceanus and Percy. "Hey, what's—PERSEUS! HOW DARE YOU RUN OFF LIKE THAT WITHOUT PERMISSION?!"

"Dad, you're annoying me!"

"Perseus, I only annoy you because you're my favorite son, and I love you very much."

"Yeah, yeah, that's real cute," said Oceanus sarcastically, "but, see, Percy and I had a deal. He broke it, so now he belongs to me. And I'm now the official ruler of the sea!"

"No." Poseidon pointed his trident at Oceanus. "_I_ am!"

"Um, no, don't think so." Oceanus grabbed the trident and turned Poseidon into a piece of kelp. His crown fell off and Oceanus picked it up. "_Now_, I'm the ruler of the sea!"

Oceanus put on a sneer and Annabeth clung to Percy for dear life.

"It's okay," Percy reassured her. "Everything will be all right."

Oceanus began to grow, towering over everybody in the ocean.

"I AM THE RULER OF THE ENTIRE OCEAN!" he yelled. "EVERYONE SHALL BOW DOWN TO ME! NOW!"

Oceanus pointed the trident at some mermen and they obediently bowed to him.

But just as Oceanus was about to make Annabeth bow before him, the trident was knocked out of his hand. "What the?" He turned and saw Percy picking up the trident. Percy pointed it at Oceanus, and said a kind of Ancient Greek spell, and Oceanus fell toward the ocean.

Percy brought Poseidon back to manliness or whatever, and after a long lecture about listening to your father, Poseidon finally gave in to let Percy marry Annabeth.

**WITH PERCY AND POSEIDON**

"Well, my boy," said Poseidon, smiling as Percy's eyes were drooping, "did you like it?"

"Yeah." Percy yawned widely. "Do it again, please, daddy."

"Not tonight, my boy. You need your sleep." Poseidon gave Percy a hug and kissed him goodnight. Then he went downstairs. "Triton, remember that story about the little merman?"

"Yeah," Triton replied.

"Well, remember how I told it to you when you were little and I said you were my favorite son?"

"Go on."

"Well, you're not my favorite son."

Amphitrite glowered at Poseidon as she was taking her mermaid pills. She swallowed them and yelled. "What does that mean, Poseidon?"

"Uh…nothing much."

Percy's head peeked over the balcony. "Hey! Can't a four-year-old get any sleep around here?"

"Yeah, guys, be quiet," Poseidon scolded. "Percy, off to bed with you."

Poseidon started to climb the stairs, but Triton wasn't done with his father. "Dad!"

"Yes, my boy?"

"I'm, like, IMMORTAL!"

"Kid, I have lots of immortal children. You're not the only one. Now, good night, Triton."

"Well, can I at least have a hug and a kiss before I go to sleep?" Triton asked, giving Poseidon a pathetic look.

Poseidon sighed. "Sure." So once he gave Triton his hug and kiss, Poseidon sent him off to bed.

**A/N: Hey, guys! I'M SOOOOO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! Choir tour took a lot out of me. I didn't get laryngitis, but my throat killed for about a day. Plus I got writer's block. I honestly had this going for a long time.**

**Anyway, my bad, guys! Keep the reviews coming. I will update tomorrow or Wednesday.**

**Thanks again for all of the suggestions and whoever thought up this one. It's very helpful. I grew up on a limited amount of Fairy Tales. **

**~Icy **


	13. Blondie and the Beast

**Disclaimer: You know the drill!**

**With Ares and Clarisse**

Five-year-old Clarisse was very hyper tonight. She was running around the house, driving her father Ares nuts! Ares was watching a basketball game on TV, when Clarisse bounced on the couch next to him.

"Don't you have a life, punk?" Ares growled.

"No. Do you?" she asked him.

"Yeah. I'm spending my life watching this basketball game. And how can I watch it when YOU'RE FREAKIN' YELLING ALL THE TIME, PUNK?!"

Clarisse, unlike most people, wasn't afraid of her father. "You better make up for that yelling, punk."

"Punk, don't call me punk. Only I can say that."

"Why?" Clarisse moaned.

"I'm your father! Now…go upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be up in a minute."

Clarisse bolted upstairs, shouting how much she hated Ares on the way up. Ares just ignored her and opened yet another beer as he finished the basketball game.

_One hour later…_

"Oh…my…gods," Ares said slowly, sipping his beer. "Why didn't he just throw the damn ball? I oughta beat him up right—"

"DADDY!" Clarisse wailed.

"What?" he yelled at her.

"Come kiss me night-night!" Clarisse replied.

Once Ares, who doesn't really know how to love his kids, said a gruff, "Night, punk," Clarisse's little head flew off the pillow and begged for a story.

"Fine," said Ares, going over to the shelf, "what would you like me to read to you?"

"'Aphrodite and the Frog.'"

"You have that story memorized. Besides, that's not how we actually met."

"How'd you guys meet, then?"

Ares thought of a less dirty way to put it in a five-year-old perspective. "Well…it's…uh…it's complicated." He spotted a book on her shelf and grabbed it. "Let me tell you the story about Katniss Everdeen and her adventures in the Hunger Games."

"No!"

"Fine. How about I tell you a good story? Let's see…which one should I tell you?"

**FAIRY TALE 12: BLONDIE AND THE BEAST**

_Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a jerk named Ares lived in a blood-red castle. Now, even though he had everything he wanted, he was spoiled, selfish, and unkind to everybody._

_One day, an old woman named Hestia came to his door. Once he opened it, she offered him a beautiful rose. In exchange, he would have to let her sleep the night instead of in the cold._

"_No freaking way," Ares snapped, and slammed the door in her face._

_Hestia's form melted into a beautiful enchantress, and she put a spell on Ares' castle, turning him into a hideous beast, and turning his servants into crappy household objects._

_Because he was so ashamed of what he looked like, Ares the beast locked himself in his bedroom with a magic mirror as his only link to the outside world. The rose Hestia had offered was locked in a glass container, and would bloom for many years. If he could learn to love someone else and earn their love in return by the time the last pedal fell, the spell would break. If not, he'd remain a beast for all time. As time passed, he fell into a state of depression. So he went to a psychiatrist for help._

_The psychiatrist, a gifted man named Apollo, prescribed him some medication. But he fell into a deeper depression, and lost all hope. Who could ever learn to love a beast like Ares?_

MANY YEARS LATER…

A beautiful blonde woman named Aphrodite was walking through the village, when she happened upon her favorite salon.

"Ah, it's Aphrodite!" said Hera as she was cleaning some cabinets.

"Hi, Hera," Aphrodite squealed. "I'd like an appointment to get my hair done."

"Well, I'll get you in right now," said Hera cheerfully. So she washed and braided Aphrodite's hair and put makeup all over Aphrodite's face. It wasn't like she needed it, though. Aphrodite was INSANELY beautiful, like more beautiful than any beautiful person in the world!

"Well, thanks, Hera," said Aphrodite, handing Hera a few drachmas. "I really gotta get going now. My dad's waiting for me."

"All right, Aphrodite. Glad you stopped by!"

As soon as Aphrodite left, she was surprised to see Hephaestus—the best blacksmith in town—waiting outside the salon.

"Hey, baby," Hephaestus flirted.

"Uh…hi?" Aphrodite questioned. "What's up?"

"You wanna come back to my forges? We can have a few beers?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm the most beautiful girl in town. I DON'T DRINK BEER! Or booze of any kind," she added briskly. "Hephaestus, I'm really sorry. But I've got to get home to my father. He's waiting for me."

"That weirdo Zeus? He's crazy!" yelled Hephaestus' buddy Hermes.

"Shut up, Hermes!" Hephaestus smiled at Aphrodite. "Well, sweetie, if you ever want to come over for a kiss, you know where I live." He winked at her and left.

Aphrodite sighed to herself and ran home.

"Hello, dear," said Zeus. "Look what I made!" He held up something that looked like a lightning bolt. It was blue and had sparks shooting out of it.

"Dad! Is that your master bolt you've been working on?"

"Sure is, Aphrodite! I'm going to enter it in the county fare tomorrow. I'll be gone for a week, so don't blow the house up, okay?"

"Okay, daddy. When are you leaving?"

"Right now," said Zeus, gesturing to his packed suitcase. "Well, I'll see you in a week. Love you!"

"I love you, too, daddy!"

And Zeus was off.

Zeus, who often fell asleep on long chariot rides, suddenly woke up to find himself in an unfamiliar place. "What the heck?" he asked himself. "Did we miss something?" He checked his map, but it was hard to read without the aid of a lantern. "I guess I should've brought some matches with me."

He was in the woods for about an hour before he decided to skip the fare. He could wait until next year; it wouldn't kill him.

"Pegasus," Zeus ordered, "take me back to my house!"

But Pegasus was also lost, and took more wrong turns.

Another hour passed before Zeus realized where he was. "Yeah, we're way far from my house, aren't we, Pegasus?"

Pegasus let loose a huge whinny that startled Zeus. Zeus yelled in frustration, and spooked Pegasus. As a result, Pegasus flung Zeus forward and Zeus landed in a small river next to an old castle. Before that all happened, Pegasus ran off.

Zeus spat a huge stream of water out of his mouth and stood up, trying to get his bearings. "Where am I?" he asked himself. "It doesn't look like home. It's not even four o'clock yet. And that's when it gets dark at this time of year." He spotted the old castle. "Hmm. Maybe someone there can help me."

Zeus knocked on the door, but found it was unlocked. "Hello?" he called. "Hello!"

He heard some voices and went to see what was making them.

He sound found an old clock and a candlestick were sitting, quite contently, on a shelf. Wait, contently?

"Did you say something?" Zeus asked.

"Yeah," said the candlestick. "We're saying how bad we feel for you. You look like a zombie."

"Uh, Apollo," said the clock uncertainly, "he might be offended by that. No offense, sir."

"None taken…uh…what is your name?"

"Well," said the clock angrily, "you've already met Apollo. And I'm Dionysus. Welcome to—"

A creepy voice came floating through the room. "Who's there?" it asked angrily. "I was eating my mid-afternoon snack of Lucky Charms, and THIS is what I find in my living room?"

A huge, furry animal came into the room. It growled at Zeus, as though it was just about to eat him.

"Who are you?"

"Who am I?" asked the creature. "I'm the master of this castle, punk! Who are you?"

"I'm Zeus. I was on my way to the invention fare down the road, and I kinda got lost—"

"A likely story. Come with me."

"Where are we going?" Zeus didn't sound scared at all. It was as though the furry animal was taking him on a field trip to a museum, and it would be something to look forward to.

"Oh, nowhere amazing," the creature replied, "just…down to the dungeon."

"THE DUNGEON?!"

Meanwhile, Aphrodite was looking into a large mirror in her room and doing her makeup, when there was a knock on her bedroom door. "Hello?" she asked.

"Babe, it's Heph. Just wanted to know if you'd like to marry me or what?"

"No! Stop asking me! You're just not my type!"

"Aw! Okay." Hephaestus sadly walked outside and snarled at Hermes, "Dude, she didn't want to marry me."

"Here's what you need. You need a good song. Salute to her from down here and up there, she'll be thankful that you're here. After all, she's probably lonely since Zeus went missing."

Hephaestus coughed. "Uh…Zeus is missing?"

"Oh, yeah," said Hermes, "he's been missing for, like, two days now. Look, I'm just the messenger. I heard it from Pegasus."

"That's great," Hephaestus interrupted him, "give me a good song to sing."

"Okay." Hermes called the nine Muses and they began to salute to Aphrodite:

_Stars shining bright above you,_

_Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you."_

_Birds singing in the sycamore tree,_

_Dream a little dream of me…_

And they stopped after that because Aphrodite was giving them a dirty look. "NO, HEPHAESTUS! I WILL NEVER MARRY YOU!" And she slammed the window.

"Jeez, calm down, lady," Hephaestus replied quietly. "Love you, too."

Back at the ranch—or castle—Zeus had just been thrown in the dungeon. Before the furry animal left, Zeus asked, "Can I get your name at least, please?"

"It's Ares, punk," Ares replied, spitting at him.

"Nice name. Is that Greek?"

"Yes! Now, shut up or I'll throw you in the Fields of Burning Hot Lava!"

Zeus shut up after that, so you could tell the god was freaked out.

While Zeus was getting his godly hide almost whooped, Aphrodite was searching for him. "Let's go, Pegasus!" she ordered the black, flying horse. Her chariot—which she'd gotten for her sixteenth birthday—rose up into the air, and landed near the front door of the old castle.

When Aphrodite knocked on the door, she found it was already opened, so she let herself in. "Is anyone here?" she called out nervously. When no one replied, she went further into the house. She looked upstairs, in the kitchen, and in the dining room, but there was nothing to be seen or heard.

Finally, she heard a cough coming from the cellar. Down she went, where she found her father Zeus in a dungeon. He was coughing and shaking, and it looked like he'd come down with pneumonia.

"Oh, father!" Aphrodite yelled, running to Zeus. She grasped his hand in hers. "We need to get you home so you can sleep."

"No, sweetie. No time to explain. Go! Save yourself, Aphrodite! Go!"

"Who's down here?" Ares' voice growled. He came down the stairs with a broomstick. "I am Ares, the master of this castle! Whoever is making that noise, I'm gonna hit you with this broomstick I only hit my mother with!"

"You're such a jerk," Aphrodite observed.

"Well, there's more where that came from," Ares chuckled. "Anyway…I SHALL HIT YOUR FATHER OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS BROOMSTICK!"

"Ares, dear?"

Hera came down the stairs in her nightdress. She glared at her son. "What in the name of the gods are you doing?"

"Silence, Mom!" Ares yelled, and whacked Hera over the head with the broomstick. She fell unconscious on the floor. "Yeah, she'll be out for a few days. Don't worry about her. Now, Zeus, I shall let you go if your daughter agrees to be my slave."

"Uh…" said Aphrodite. "Fine. I'll be your slave."

Once Ares had thrown Zeus out of his palace and into the snow, he ordered Aphrodite up to her room.

"Fine," Ares snapped at her, "you are now my prisoner. You're too beautiful to be my slave. I think you're really hot, but I want to see how you like this castle before I propose to you, Miss Aphrodite."

Aphrodite laid on her bed and cried her eyes out for what felt like forever.

Hephaestus and Hermes went into the Drunken Drunkards Pub and Grill in the city.

"Yeah, hi," said Hermes to Poseidon, who was behind the counter working the night shift, "one nectar with an extra three shots of vodka, and a large bottle of liquor, please."

"That'll be thirty-five drachmas, Hermes," said Poseidon, sounding surprised.

Hermes dug through his pockets and coat, and found thirty-six drachmas. "Keep the change," he told Poseidon.

"Sweet!"

Poseidon handed Hermes the bottle of liquor and the nectar with the vodka in it. He and Hephaestus went and sat down at a table with another man sitting there already.

"Aw, Heph, I know how you feel. When a pretty girl leaves you, you feel just…so sad and lonely…and depressed."

"I get it, Hermes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Heph. And you know what else? She was the only pretty girl in town, too."

Several girls glowered at Hermes.

"Except you sexy women. You're hot, too."

The girls resumed their gossiping.

The man who was sitting with them cleared his throat. "Ahem. I couldn't help overhearing that you have a problem with a girl, Hephaestus?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mr. Hades, the town's psychiatric hospital owner," Hades said darkly. "I hear you're having problems trying to get Aphrodite to like you."

"Well, see, Mr. Hades, her dad Zeus doesn't like me very much."

Just then, Zeus ran into the bar. "MY DAUGHTER! MY PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER! HE'S GOT HER LOCKED IN A DUNGEON!"

"Who's got her locked in a dungeon?" asked Poseidon.

"Ares the Beast!" Zeus replied.

The entire bar, which had just grown quiet, roared with laughter.

"Please help me!" Zeus begged.

"Sure," said Hermes and Poseidon. They picked Zeus up by each of his arms, and threw him outside in the snow, where he lay there, motionless.

"Hmm…" Hephaestus said, "what if we put Aphrodite's father into the psychiatric hospital now? That way we don't have to deal with his moaning about a freaking beast during our wedding."

"I like your thinking," said Hades, "but I think we should wait if and when Aphrodite gets back."

But Aphrodite was in no hurry of getting back. Over the past few days, Ares had been wonderfully nice to her, and she'd gotten to like him. Well, it was more of starting to love him now.

In the living room, Mrs. Demeter and her daughter Persephone were just serving up that morning's tea. Aphrodite was teaching Ares how to have fun in the snow and make snow angels.

"Who are you guys?" asked Aphrodite, once she saw Demeter and Persephone.

"I'm Mrs. Demeter," said Demeter, "and this is my daughter Persephone. It's time for tea now. Would you like some, dear?"

"We can't," Ares replied. "Aphrodite and I must get ready for our date."

A couple of hours later, a lovely dinner was prepared, and Aphrodite and Ares began to dance.

When they were finally alone, Ares said, "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah," said Aphrodite sadly.

"What's the matter, Aphro? Maybe I can help you out."

"Well, I miss my father, and he may be dying, and it'll be all my fault."

"Um…" Ares pulled out his magic mirror. "Well, I'll let you go. But don't forget me. Okay? Or I'll go into a depression again."

"I'll come back. I promise."

So Aphrodite went to find Zeus. When she did eventually find him, she brought him back to the house. She'd just helped him into bed, when there was a knock on her door.

"Like, what?" she asked.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Hades, and I've come to collect your father."

"Where will you be taking him?"

"The psychiatric hospital. Don't worry. We'll put him on drugs so he comes out of there more normal than he's been for years. Let's face it, your father's crazy."

"No, he's not! He's a freakin' genius!" Aphrodite protested. "Just let him stay with me."

"I'm afraid we cannot do that," Hades said, lowering his head.

"My dad's not crazy." Aphrodite grabbed the magic mirror. "Show me Ares!"

Ares' face appeared on the mirror.

"Wow!" Hephaestus bellowed happily. "So it's true! All right, keep your father. Let's go kill the beast!"

Back at the castle, Ares was taking his antidepressants.

"Oh, uh, Ares?" said Apollo. "How many of those are you taking?"

"All of them. She's gone, Apollo. She was my one true love. And now…she's gone."

"You can cry, Ares. It's totally cool by me. Just don't kill yourself over a girl."

"I'M A GOD! I CAN'T DIE, YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh, right." Apollo suddenly glanced out the window. "Well, Ares, if you can't die by drugs, maybe you can by the people who are coming to attack our home and stuff!"

Hephaestus barged in through the door. "Where's the beast?"

"That is so mean," said Apollo, "you're a jerk, you know that? A real jerk!"

"Yeah, so I've heard." Hephaestus searched the house, and eventually got to Ares' room. "Ares! Where are you?" he called in a singsong voice.

Ares came out of the shadows where he was hiding, and threw Hephaestus off the balcony, where he died on the ground. Then Pegasus ate him.

Aphrodite came rushing over to Ares, holding a bandage and some medical tape. "Let me tend to your wounds."

"Sweetheart, he didn't hurt me," Ares said, backing away from her and holding his hands up to stop her.

"Oh, right."

Ares got on his knees and said, "Aphrodite, will you marry me?" He opened a box with a ring in it.

"Of course I will!" She kissed him, and the spell that Hestia had put on him so many years before broke. Everything in the castle began to reform into its "nice" being. Apollo and Dionysus, and Mrs. Demeter and Persephone all became human again. Ares changed into a beautiful man, and he and Aphrodite smooched…for a long time.

Zeus, who was feeling much better, found Hera in the cellar. She was just starting to come to.

"What happened?" she asked, still in her trance.

"Uh…Ares hit you over the head with a broomstick."

"Yeah…he does that a lot."

"Hera, will you marry me, too?"

"Sure, Zeus! Just don't cheat on me!"

**WITH CLARISSE AND ARES**

"That story sucked!" Clarisse wailed.

"Shut up, punk. Go to bed, or daddy's not telling anymore stupid stories to you ever again!" Ares quickly kissed his daughter goodnight, closed the door, and went downstairs to cuss out all the basketball players that he was rooting for in the basketball game.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter kind of sucked…badly…and stuff. I promised you guys I'd update very soon. I had to cut some stuff out because you guys would probably get bored. BTW, if you haven't noticed yet, I've been using the Disney versions, because I haven't heard the other versions. And even if I did, I wouldn't remember them.**

**Up next shall be…**

**Rapunzel**

**Starring (once again), Aphrodite, Zeus, Hera, Ares, and the mean witch named…I'll think of something. Who's someone who could be good as a witch? I don't think I should use Demeter and Persephone again. Hestia's too nice, and I've already put her as a mean stepsister…and I regretted doing that.**

**Anyway, keep the ideas and reviews coming! Love you guys lots!**

**~Icy**


	14. Aphrodite and Her Annoyingly Blonde Hair

**Disclaimer: Own nothing, not even your ideas, reviewers! BTW, thanks to whoever gave me this one!**

**SPECIAL MESSAGE**

**I'm thinking about changing the story's title to "Olympian Fairy Tales, Scary Stories, and More." See, I have this series of books by this dude named Alvin Schwartz, and they're full of scary stories…for all ages, not just little kids! Let me know if you'd like some scary stories in here, too. Some of them should sound pretty familiar. I could have lots and lots of fun writing scary stories!**

**THE HUNTERS' CAMP**

**1:30 AM**

Artemis, the goddess of the Hunt, was sound asleep. She was dreaming about something she wouldn't share with me, when she was woken up by her lieutenant, Zoe Nightshade.

"Zoe," said Artemis, "what's wrong?"

"M'Lady, I cannot sleep," Zoe moaned.

"Why not, my dear girl?"

"Because…I am not sure."

"Is it the other Hunters?" asked Artemis, getting out of bed.

"No. It is not thy other Hunters."

"Then, is it the crickets?"

"No, Lady Artemis."

Artemis sighed heavily. "I'm afraid I cannot help you, my Huntress. You'll have to figure out the best way for you to sleep."

Zoe pouted like a little kid. "Lady Artemis, what did thy mother use for you when you couldn't get thyself off to Dreamland?"

Artemis thought about it. "Well, my dear, my mother used to tell me these stories called Fairy Tales."

"I have heard of them," Zoe said, "yet I have not actually listened to one."

"Well, here," Artemis said, "I will add one to your memory. This story is called Rapunzel."

**APHRODITE AND HER ANNOYINGLY LONG HAIR**

Once upon a time, in the land of Olympus, there lived a happy couple named Zeus and Hera. Zeus was the king, and Hera was the queen. Shortly after they were married, they had a beautiful baby girl named Aphrodite.

Aphrodite loved her parents dearly, and they loved her. But when she was a little girl, her parents faded. So she headed off into the woods and cried for what like forever. Then a woman happened upon her on her morning jog, and adopted her.

So the woman was nice to her for three minutes, but then she was a real jerk to poor Aphrodite.

The woman—Circe—was now busy giving Aphrodite a tour of her house.

"So, this is my living room. I have a huge flat-screen, a hot tub, and a disco ball." She walked up the stairs. "And this is my bedroom, which you will never go into." And last, but not least, "And this is where you'll be sleeping forever!" And she shoved Aphrodite into her room, in the tallest tower of her house.

Aphrodite's room only had a window. It had a door, but Circe immediately super-glued it shut so Aphrodite couldn't get out.

Now, Aphrodite lived a very crappy life, using a chamber pot every day, and cooking her own meals. But everything changed when she saw the most handsome man of her life.

He was muscular, and his voice was deep, like a baritone's. He had a bunch of scars on his face, but Aphrodite never noticed him in any wars or anything, so all she did was think about him.

"What I wouldn't give to leave this crappy castle tower thingy, and go and live with that man."

The man—Ares—turned around to stare at her. "If you'd like to live with me so much, come on down!"

"I can't!"

"Then, let down your hair so that I may come up."

"Okay!"

Aphrodite let down her long hair and Ares climbed up the side of the tower.

Suddenly, Circe burst through the door and snatched Aphrodite away from him. "No! She's mine!"

Ares picked Aphrodite up, took out his bow and arrow, and shot a long rope down to the village.

"Let's make out," Ares suggested after he'd introduced himself.

"Okay then!"

So Aphrodite and Ares made out for a few minutes, and got married that same night. And they lived happily ever after, and had, like, ninety-five children.

And Circe was thrown into the dungeon in the Underworld, where Hades the Big Bad God ate her!

**WITH ZOE AND ARTEMIS**

"Well, that's it," said Artemis. "Good night, Zoe."

"But, Lady Artemis, there wasn't enough detail in it."

"Sure there was, my girl. I'm tired, so that's why I rushed through it." She turned Zoe in the direction that led out of the tent. "Now, good night, my dear girl."

**A/N: Okay, I know that was pretty bad. Sorry about that in advance! I'm going to dedicate the next chapter to a scary story. I know they're not Fairy Tales, but it'll be fun! And I'll give the author of the book credit. There aren't that many Fairy Tales in the world that work for PJO parodies!**

**All the best,**

**Love,**

**~Icy**


	15. The Appointment

**Icecream401 proudly presents…**

**SCARY OLYMPIAN FAIRY TALES! MWAHAHA! **

**This story is better known as "The Appointment," where a young boy meets Death. It's pretty easy to follow, so I'll let you guys decide for yourselves. It's also pretty short, so sorry if you were expecting a long chapter. More to come, though!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or "Scary Stories 3: More Ways to Chill Your Bones" by Alvin Schwartz.**

**Enjoy and R+R! Thanx, my good peeps!**

**CAMP HALF-BLOOD, AROUND THE CAMPFIRE**

**9:30 PM**

It was October, almost Halloween, as a matter of fact. The entire camp was sitting around the campfire, trying to do a sing-along with the Apollo cabin.

Meanwhile, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Connor and Travis Stoll were in their own little group, talking about scary stories that they'd heard when they were smaller.

"You guys remember that one where the girl burns the body because she thought it was a vampire?" asked Annabeth.

"Who doesn't?" asked Connor, smirking. "Or maybe that one where the guy eats the liver?"

"Yeah, that one gave me nightmares," Travis admitted.

"Dude, I was there," said Connor. "Mom came rushing into the room, and she was all like, 'What happened?'"

"Hey, I've got one for you guys," said Percy.

**THE APPOINTMENT**

As a summer job, Ares worked on Demeter's farm. He made a lot of bucks in the summer, when he wasn't causing minor wars all over the US.

Ares, one day, realized he'd forgotten to buy some stools so he could milk Demeter's cows. For some reason, Demeter always sat on the floor of the barn where she milked them, and Ares just couldn't stand it. So the only thing to do was the buy some stools. And he thought Demeter could use them after he went back to starting wars and stuff.

Ares got into his car and drove down to the nearest store that sold such things.

"Hey, Apollo," Ares said, as Apollo jumped and turned around.

"Hey, Ares! Whatchya need today?" he replied, smiling widely.

"Yeah…hi…Demeter wanted me to milk some cows, but she ain't got no stools."

Apollo rolled his eyes at Ares' poor use of grammar.

"So I need some stinkin' stools."

TWENTY MINUTES OF LOOKING-AT-STOOLS LATER…

"Thanks, Apollo!" Ares said, getting into his car. He backed up and ran into Hades, who was taking a merry stroll (not!) along the main street. "Oh, my gods! I'm so sorry, sir!" Ares apologized over and over again.

"Well, that's all right, I guess," said Hades. He was holding a scythe, kind of like Kronos', and he was pointing a finger at Ares.

"What're you doing?" Ares asked, turning his stereo down to a quiet hum.

"Well, when I point my finger at you, it means you're going to—" But before he could finish, Ares sped away.

Demeter was in her kitchen, knitting a scarf for Persephone, when Ares burst through the door. "Ares!" she exclaimed. "What're you doing? I thought I asked you to milk the cows!"

"Demeter, there's this creepy guy downtown. And he pointed his finger at me. I think he wanted to kill me."

"Well, I think you need some rest, Ares," Demeter observed. "Why don't you take the day off and go lie down?"

"There's a hotel in town," Ares remembered thoughtfully. "I'll go there."

"And I'll go find this creepy man you're complaining about," Demeter promised.

Once Ares had left, Demeter went into town looking for Hades. She found him later and said, "What's wrong with you? You scared off my nephew while he was trying to buy some supplies for my farm."

"My apologies," said Hades, "but I was surprised to find him in the city. I have an appointment with him later at the hotel down the block."

**WITH THE FOUR HALF-BLOODS**

"Oh, Percy," said Annabeth, "that was a good start. But I can tell a better one."

"No, you can't!" Percy said. "My stories are the best."

"That was easy to follow," Travis admitted truthfully, "but it was pretty lame."

Percy scowled and stomped back to his cabin.

"What's your story?" asked Annabeth curiously.

"I was going to tell the one about the liver," Travis replied. "But I'll save it for tomorrow."

**And that's it, guys!**

**The scary stories are taking place while they're at camp, and the Fairy Tales are occurring when they're little. Just so there's no confusion.**

**Did you like the scary story? It's pretty easy and not that scary, but I have more where that came from!**


	16. Hermes and the Caduceus

**Glad you guys like the scary stories! I'll try and come up with some more, although it won't be too hard!**

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

**WITH CONNOR, TRAVIS, AND HERMES**

Hermes was always good at teaching his own children how to steal, no matter what age they were.

Tonight was no different. Hermes and his sons, Travis and Connor Stoll, were supposed to be seeing a movie that night, but they "took a wrong turn" and "got lost."

"All right," said Hermes, "now, it's high time I teach you boys how to steal."

"But, daddy, stealing is wrong," said Connor, bouncing up and down in his car seat.

"Hey! I'm your father, and what I say goes!" Hermes snapped. They'd arrived at McDonald's. "What do you boys want?"

"I want a Happy Meal," Travis said happily.

"Me, too," Connor said.

Hermes rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"And, dad, can we get the girl toy?"

"Why would you want that, Travis? What's wrong with you?"

"'Cause girls are cute," Travis replied.

"Ugh…all right."

Then the person on the speaker came on. "Hello, sir. Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

"Yeah, I'll have three quarter-pounders, three large fries, and three chocolate shakes with extra whipped cream." Hermes regretted saying this next part. "And I have two boys in the back who want Happy Meals, but they want girl toys with them instead of the boy ones."

"All right, sir. That comes to…" She did the calculations. "Twenty-two dollars and eighty-nine cents."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" asked Hermes.

"Sir, if you'd like me to subtract some of the items…"

"No, that's cool." Hermes drove up to the window and paid for the food. "Why can't you two act like normal boys?"

"We are hitting puberty!" Travis announced.

"Great. My six-year-old son is hitting puberty," Hermes said. "What about you, Connor?"

"I hit it last January."

"Oh…my…gods," said Hermes as the food came out. "Okay, I got the three quarter-pounders, the three fries, and the three shakes. And here you go, boys. Here are your Happy Meals with the Barbie dolls in them."

While they were heading to Hermes' palace—because their mom was in Vegas gambling and stuff—the two boys began to play Barbie.

"Let's play house with them," said Travis.

"No. Let's play school," said Connor.

"Hey, let's play Be Quiet or Daddy's Gonna Pull Over and Burn Your Barbie Dolls," Hermes said, pulling into the Olympus parking garage. "Now, get upstairs. I'll get the food."

"Dad, while we eat, can you tell us a story?" asked Connor.

"Sure." Hermes actually liked telling his kids stories. "But this has stealing involved in it."

"Whatever. It's a story. It's not like it'll come true like those stupid Greek Mythology myths," said Travis.

Once Travis had gotten out of his time-out in the corner, Hermes fed his kids dinner.

"Now," said Hermes, "I'm going to tell you kids about a guy named…let's just call him Hermes."

**HERMES AND THE MAGICAL CADUCEUS**

It was nighttime in Athens, Greece. No one was out, because everyone was drinking in Zeus' palace…or his temple…whichever one pleases you.

Yet one person wasn't getting drunk. That person was Kronos, and his evil sidekick jerk-face named Luke.

"Where is he?" asked Luke, getting annoyed now.

"Luke, he shall be here in a minute," Kronos replied, checking his watch.

"Dude, let's just face it. He's not going to…" Luke's voice came to an abrupt halt.

"Hey, Kronos!"

"Ah, Hades. You are late…again."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was telling my kids a bunch of stupid bedtime stories to shut them up. You know how kids are these days."

"You have the keys then?"

"Yes. I had to wrestle Ares down to the ground, but I got it!"

After an hour's worth of walking, the three of them ended up at the Temple of Delphi.

"At last! The Temple of Delphi!" Kronos jumped up and down. "Now, go unlock the door, Hades."

But before Hades could reply, the Oracle of Delphi came out. "Who dares disturb my slumber?" she asked in her creepy mummy voice.

"It is I, Kronos, and I have come for the thing I've been praying for."

"Fine," said the Oracle. "Come into the temple. Touch nothing but the thing you seek."

Hades glanced at Kronos. "Is that the only reason you brought me here? Just to get me killed?"

"That's pretty much it," Kronos replied.

Hades walked toward the temple, and was about to enter it, but the Oracle of Delphi slammed the door behind him, never to be seen again.

"Aw, man," said Luke sadly, "we kind of needed him."

"No, we didn't," Kronos replied happily. "He was annoying me."

The following morning, a young and very fast man was running through the streets of Athens, a loaf of bread in his hand.

"Stop him!" a man's voice yelled.

"Dude, I'm hungry!" the thief yelled.

"Oh, yeah?" asked the other man. "I'm Apollo, and when I tell you to stop, you stop. God it?"

"No! I don't got it!"

"Do you even live anywhere, kid?"

"Yeah. In that cardboard refrigerator box in that smelly alley over there." The thief pointed to a cardboard box that read PROPERTY OF HERMES on it.

While the man called Apollo was distracted, the man called Hermes ran for his cardboard box and slipped inside while Apollo regained his senses and bolted in another direction.

"Ah," said Hermes, taking out his bread. He took a huge bite and smiled to himself. "You did good, Hermes. You did good."

Suddenly, the flaps of his box opened and he looked up.

*With King Zeus and Princess Aphrodite*

"Aphrodite! Where are you? I've spent all morning looking for this perfume for you!"

King Zeus was having a bad day, after his wife Hera left him for another guy called Poseidon. But it didn't matter because Greek families all know each other anyway, so who cares?

"Father!" Aphrodite called. She was sunbathing and drinking a piña colada. "I'm over here!"

"Oh! There you are! I was worried sick! What has daddy told you about not telling him where you are at all times?"

"Daddy, you are too overprotective. Can't I have some freedom?"

"No. And you know what else?"

"Hmm?" Aphrodite asked absentmindedly.

"I'm forcing you to get married tomorrow to the royal advisor, Kronos."

"Oh, daddy, I hate him. He's a jerk."

"No, he's not, dear. He's just…he's just…" Zeus couldn't think of a nice thing to say about Kronos. "Well, whatever he may be, he loves you."

"Daddy, I'm going into town to get more makeup." Aphrodite stood up and grabbed her purse. "Don't wait up. I might catch a movie with that Ares guy."

"No! Fine, you may go buy some makeup, but you may NOT go out with Ares! He's a jerk!"

"Daddy, he was your son by Hera, remember?"

"Don't remind me."

Aphrodite hummed to herself as she walked into town. She was wearing a black coat, so she wouldn't be recognized by Ares as the daughter of Zeus, the royal king.

Suddenly, someone ran into her. "Oops! Sorry," said the guy.

"It's fine. Where's the beauty store? I hate how they've redone the place, you know?"

Hermes, who'd just run into Aphrodite, looked at her. "Yeah…it sucks, huh?"

"Like, totally."

"Hey, you wanna go see 'Clash of the Titans' with me?"

"I'd love to! What's your name?"

"Hermes," he replied.

"Ah, such a nice name. I'm Aphrodite."

This apparently triggered a chain reaction. Hermes yelled, "Princess Aphrodite!" And some other people looked around.

"Yeah, about that…" Aphrodite said. "My point wasn't to announce it to the entire world, Hermes!"

"Princess Aphrodite!"

Hephaestus came up. He was one of the guards for Zeus' palace. "What are you doing with Hermes the street rat?"

"You don't have a home?" asked Aphrodite incredulously.

"I do too have a home," Hermes said angrily. "See that alley over there?" He pointed. "Well, that's where I live."

"What are you doing with him?" Hephaestus asked. "I thought King Zeus wouldn't let you outside of his palace."

"Not your concern," snapped Aphrodite. "Leave him alone."

"I would, but my orders come from the royal advisor," said Hephaestus darkly. "You'll need to speak with him."

"I'll do just that then," said Aphrodite.

Meanwhile, Kronos was about to use the bathroom. He was sneaking around the palace because he wanted to use Zeus' bathroom, because Zeus had a golden toilet, while Kronos had an "uncool" toilet, as Hephaestus called it.

"KRONOS!" Aphrodite yelled.

"Well, if it isn't the beautiful princess, Aphrodite," Kronos said with mock surprise. "Hurry up. I gotta pee."

"Hephaestus captured a man named Hermes…on your orders."

"Yeah, I kinda told him to do that."

"Why, may I ask?"

"Because your father probably wouldn't want you hanging around _that_, now would he?"

"Maybe he'd let me. I'm his daughter. He gives me whatever I want."

"But, Aphrodite, your father has already put him in a cell…to serve his sentence for stalking you on the street like a crazy homeless pervert."

"Meaning?"

"He'll have to be executed."

Aphrodite paled, tears filling her eyes.

Since Kronos had to pee so bad, he turned and bolted for the west side of the palace. "WHERE ARE YOU, GOLDEN TOILET?!" he yelled.

Hermes was sitting on his butt in a jail cell.

"You should be used to this place," said Hephaestus, smirking. "It has all the comforts of home." He chained Hermes up against the wall and locked the door.

Hermes cleared his throat. "Well, Hermes, you lived a good life while you were out there. I guess it's time to go to Hades."

"Not yet," replied a creepy voice.

"Who're you?" asked Hermes, clearly stunned.

"I'm…uh…Kevin," the man replied. "I've been sent on King Zeus' command to let you free."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was going to execute you, but you're too young and cool. So I asked him if I could let you off the hook just this once, and well, here I am!"

"Okay. Thanks!"

"On one condition," "Kevin" said. "You must retrieve something for me."

Hermes got down on his knees. "Anything, Sir Kevin."

"You must go with me to the Temple of Delphi and get me a magical caduceus."

Hermes looked confused.

Kevin sighed. "It's that staff thingy with two snakes you see in a doctor's office."

"Oh, that? Okay. I'll do it! Do I get the princess?"

"We'll see," Kevin replied, sneering at Hermes.

"Ugh…fine."

So Hermes got on a horse with "Kevin," and set off for the Temple of Delphi.

"Hey, Delphi," Kevin said. "I need something very important."

"You may proceed," Delphi replied in her mummy creeper voice, "but touch nothing but the caduceus."

As Hermes walked, he noticed various things that looked cool, but he knew that if he touched it, bad things would happen. So he pressed on.

He soon came upon a loveseat. As he passed it, it came to life and few along next to him. It seemed to like him, and he liked it, so he welcomed the loveseat along with him.

Hermes soon came to a dark room, where a large pedestal was located in the center. And on that pedestal was the magic caduceus.

"Sweet! I've got it!"

Hermes picked the caduceus up and ran for the temple's entrance. But when he got there, he paused because the door was closed.

He knew that only people went in, but nobody ever came out of the Temple of Delphi.

"Crap!" yelled Hermes in anger. "Dude, all I had to do was get this freaking caduceus to that Kevin guy out there, and get a hot chick." He absentmindedly started rubbing the caduceus and a voice came out.

"Greetings, caduceus holder! I am Athena, and every wish is my command."

"Oh, howdy, Athena."

"And you, Hermes, are my master."

"Cool!"

"And we will become friends."

"Yeah, okay," said Hermes, "I need to get out of here."

"Hold up," Athena snapped. "I have rules, okay? Number one: I can't kill people. Number two: I can't make people fall in love. And number three: no one is being brought back from the dead. Other than that, it's cool."

"Can we get out of here?"

"Sure!"

Once they were in Athens again, Athena turned to Hermes. "Two wishes to go. What do you want?"

"Can you make me totally sexy and hot so I can get the princess to fall in love with me?"

"Um…" Athena thought mockingly. "No. I'll just make you sexy and hot, so YOU can win her heart!"

Hermes knocked on the palace's front door.

Kronos came to the door. "Are you delivering my taco pizza, sir?"

"No. Actually, I'm here to see Princess Aphrodite."

Aphrodite came rushing down the stairs. "You look oddly familiar! Who are you?"

Hermes got down on one knee. Kronos had taken his taco pizza somewhere else to eat it. "Princess Aphrodite, it's Hermes from the market. Will you be my wife forever?"

"Oh…" Aphrodite's eyes teared up. "No, I can't. Sorry. I'm supposed to marry Kronos, the royal advisor."

"Well, let's just see if he actually wants to marry you, huh?"

They walked into Kronos' royal advising office, only to find Kronos dead and his head lying on his desk.

"I don't think he'll mind. I put arsenic in his pizza," said Hermes.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Aphrodite squealed.

"But before we get married," said Hermes, "there's one last wish I get, Athena. I wish for you to be a normal person and not some slave to a caduceus."

**WITH HERMES AND KIDS**

"And that's my story," said Hermes. "You guys like?"

"Yeah! Tell another one!" said Travis.

"Well, maybe tomorrow night, boys," said Hermes. "Right now, it's time for you to watch that terrible kids' show you like so much about girls and Barbie dolls."

**A/N: Sorry about the late update, guys. School's getting to me. I wish I could write more, but I get out in May, so I'll have four months to write before school starts up again.**

**Please review! This story was "Aladdin," in case you didn't recognize it before. Well, I hope you really liked it! Next time…SCARY STORIES! =)**


	17. So-o-o Good!

**WITH CONNOR, TRAVIS, ANNABETH, AND PERCY**

Percy had just finished his scary story, but Annabeth wasn't impressed. "Really, Seaweed Brain? You call that scary?"

"Well, it gave me nightmares," Percy said defensively.

"You go to Hell and back, but you can't get over a story? What's the matter with you?"

"Please don't break up with me!" Percy begged.

"Guys!" yelled Travis. "I've got one for you."

**SO-O-O GOOD!**

The fattest god on Olympus was Dionysus, who was married to a nice woman named Hestia. Dionysus scared the living crap out of her, so in order to please him, Hestia cooked and cleaned for him all day until he came home from the strawberry fields.

One day, Dionysus got off work early, so he stopped at Ares' Smokehouse and bought some liver. He loved it. In fact, liver was his favorite food…if Hestia made it correctly, that is.

"Sweetie," said Hestia as she served him a huge slice of grapefruit, "remember that woman Demeter down the street?"

"Hmm?" Dionysus grunted.

"Well, dear, she passed away last night."

"How unfortunate," said Dionysus sarcastically. "I gotta go, Hestia. I'll see you later. I expect this liver to be the best I've ever tasted!"

"I thought you were done with work."

"I lied to everyone! I still have nine thousand strawberries to taste-test!"

Hestia glumly looked toward the stove, where the liver was cooking. She simmered it for a few hours before Dionysus came home from work.

It was about four-thirty when the liver was finished. She thought she'd try a small taste. It was so delicious, that she couldn't stop eating it!

Then she realized the liver was no longer on the plate. She immediately thought of Dionysus and the fact that he'd slap her upside the head if he found out.

She had to get another piece of liver…and fast!

So she went next door to the cemetery with a shovel and a plate. She began to dig up Demeter's body…

AN HOUR OR SO LATER…

"How's dinner, darling?" Hestia asked.

"It's so-o-o good!" Dionysus declared. "Have some, sweetheart!"

"I'm leaving it for you, darling," said Hestia.

A few hours past, and the two gods went up to bed. Hestia was reading a book, and Dionysus had already fallen asleep. Hestia's mind, however, wasn't focused on the book she was reading; it was focused on what she had already done just a few hours ago.

Then she thought she heard a voice in the distance.

"Where's my liver?" it asked.

Hestia's heart stopped. "Not here," she said as quietly as she could.

The voice was closer now. "Where's my liver?" it asked again.

"Uh…not here," Hestia repeated, though she was beginning to feel uneasy.

"Where's my liver?" the voice whispered next to her.

Hestia jumped because she didn't know that the voice was right next to her. Without thinking, she pointed her finger at Dionysus. "He's got it! He's got your liver!"

The light went out, and Dionysus howled in pain.

**BACK AT CAMP**

"The end," Travis said. "You guys like it?"

"Yeah," said Annabeth, "it was much better than Percy's."

"Only because you don't like Dionysus," said Percy angrily.

"He's still a god, and you don't want to make a god angry," said Annabeth.

"Are you children talking about me?" asked Mr. D.

"No," they said quickly.

"Watch out, Peter and Annie," he said, "I can always expel you from camp, and run you over in my SUV."


	18. What's Up, May?

Okay, I'm still writing all your ideas down, and I WILL get to them eventually. Keep the reviews coming and I'll write even more stuff down!

**STILL WITH THE QUARTET OF PERCY, ANNABETH, TRAVIS, AND CONNOR**

Chiron headed over to their circle. "What are you up to, my young campers?"

"Uh…" said Percy sheepishly. "We're telling scary stories, Chiron."

"Ah," said Chiron, like he'd just had an idea. "I'll give you an excellent scary story!"

"**WHAT'S UP, MAY?"**

After Luke died, May Castellan still continued to make her son sandwiches. When she was hungry one day, she decided to eat one. Unfortunately, it had loads of bacteria on it, so she was hospitalized for a while.

Hermes came to visit her every day (or whenever he wasn't delivering love letters to Ares from Aphrodite).

After a while, May died. Just like that. BOOM! Gone.

Hermes was heartbroken, but he knew there'd be other fish in the sea.

Years later, he was on his way to a dance at Demeter's farm. Demeter lived in the middle of freaking nowhere, so her farm was somewhat hard to find because it was sort of secluded in a field.

Hermes didn't mind, though. The night was quiet, so he could reflect upon his terrible immortal life as "the messenger of the gods."

He'd gone about a mile, with a mile left to go, when he noticed a woman following him. "Are you going to the dance, too?" he called to her. He stopped and waited.

The woman didn't respond, so Hermes ignored her and kept walking.

He tried to lose the woman because she was starting to become a stalker. He finally turned around and looked at her straight on. He realized that the woman was May Castellan.

So Hermes was about to call, "What's up, May?" But he suddenly remembered that she was dead. He'd buried her himself in the Olympus Cemetery for Mortal Lovers of Gods Who Produced Demigods Who Would Become Part of This Freaking Prophecy. Of course it wasn't really called that. Hermes just called it that to tick all the other Olympians off.

Seeing as May probably wasn't going to leave him alone and stalk him for an eternity, he decided to run. When he finally got to Demeter's farm, he got in a group with Apollo and Artemis, who were arguing about who had a better singing voice.

"Guys! There's a dead chick and she's running after me! It's so-o-o creepy!"

Apollo and Artemis looked at each other. "That woman right there?" asked Artemis. "That's just—"

"May Castellan." Apollo laughed. "Hey, didn't you used to date her or something?"

"Yeah! She died last year!" Hermes yelled. Half the crowd turned to him.

Hades glanced at May. "What are you doing out of the Fields of Asphodel?"

"Well, Luke, I was just looking for some peanut butter," said May happily.

"I AM NOT LUKE!" Hades cried. "I AM HADES! THE BIG BAD GOD! THE SCARY ONE! WHATEVER NAME YOU LIKE ZEUS AND POSEIDON CAME UP FOR ME!"

"Ooh, don't forget Hottest God of the Underworld," said Demeter, who was pretty looped.

"Your daughter likes me, not you," said Hades angrily, shoving Demeter away.

Hades waved his hand, and May Castellan vanished.

**BACK TO THE BEGINNING…WHATEVER…**

"Uh…Chiron," said Percy, "that wasn't that scary."

"Ah, Percy. I was just warming up." Chiron walked off.

"Well, that was an awkward scary story," said Annabeth.

The others nodded in agreement.

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. School's been killing me…again. I will update regularly (once or twice a week) when I'm out for the summer break (in a month).**

**=Icy=**


	19. The Bed By the Window

**By the way, guys, the last story was taken from Alvin Schwartz's "Hello, Kate!" Very short, but very awesome at the same time.**

**This next one is another scary story, from the same author, entitled "The Bed By the Window." Hope you enjoy it! It's one of my favorites!**

**Own nothing, unfortunately. Sadly there won't be an introduction for this one; I'm running out of scenes for intros. I'll think of some sleepover situations.**

THE BED BY THE WINDOW

Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades all shared a room at the Olympus Retirement Home for Extremely Old and Lazy Gods and Goddesses. It was like a normal room, but it only had one window. For most people walking by, it was just a window. But the Big Three couldn't leave the retirement home, so it was their only link to the outside world.

The oldest was Hades, and he got the bed next to the window. Unfortunately, Hades faded, so Poseidon got his bed, and Zeus got Poseidon's bed.

Poseidon, in his spare time, liked to describe everything he could see outside the window to Zeus.

"What's out there today?" asked Zeus.

"Oh, Aphrodite's walking around with a hot tan," said Poseidon.

Zeus raised his cane angrily. "That's filthy! She shall be grounded for eternity!"

"I also see a new fish restaurant called Poseidon's Eatery. I like!"

Although Zeus loved to listen to Poseidon, he wanted to look out that window, but he wasn't allowed to leave his bed unless he had to use the bathroom, or he was getting medical stuff done. In fact, he wanted to see the world so badly, that one day, he wanted to kill Poseidon. Zeus figured that he was going to fade anyway soon, so it wouldn't really matter.

Now Poseidon had a bad heart from eating too much seaweed in the past. In fact, that's what landed him here. No matter how many drugs Apollo had given him, he couldn't be cured. Anyway, if Poseidon ended up having a heart attack at night, and Apollo couldn't get to him quickly enough, he had pills. They were located in a bottle on the nightstand.

So when Poseidon wasn't looking, Zeus knocked the bottle of pills over and they rolled off the nightstand and behind the bed where Poseidon couldn't reach it.

The next night, Poseidon faded, just as Zeus had planned. The next day, Zeus was on Poseidon's bed! Now he would be able to see what his brother had been describing to him!

After Apollo and Asclepius left, Zeus turned his head to the right…

But all he could see was a brick wall.

**I know it's short, and I'm really sorry about that. The Fairy Tales will come back in a few chapters, if that's okay with you guys. I like writing scary stories so much, so I need to get this off my chest. I'll add some demigods to them, too.**

**Anyway, R+R please!**

**Thanks and I hope you guys like the entire story!**

**~Icy**


	20. The Window

**This story is actually called "The Window" by Alvin Schwartz. It's got a vampire in it. And it doesn't sparkle, thank the gods!**

**AT PERCY'S APARTMENT**

**WITH PERCY, TYSON, GROVER, AND NICO**

Sally walked into the living room. "Percy, dear. Do you need anything else?"

"Uh…can we have some popcorn?"

"I WANT SOME PEANUT BUTTER!" Tyson said loudly.

"Well, you know where everything is," Sally said, smiling as she headed off to her room.

Percy glanced at Grover, who was slowly scooting away from Tyson. "Grover, he's not going to eat you."

"You never know." Grover cleared his throat nervously. "He looks pretty hungry to me."

Percy sighed. "Nico, please stop summoning the dead."

"But we're watching a scary movie, and they like scary movies."

"Why are you so negative all the time, di Angelo?"

"I live in the Underworld. Don't you think you'd get depressed after a while?"

"Can we watch something else?" asked Grover. "This movie sucks."

Percy turned off the TV without hesitating. "What'll we do now?"

"Peanut—"

"In a few, big guy. In a few minutes," Percy said while Tyson hung his head.

"Hey, I have a good scary story for you guys," said Nico, flushing slightly like it brought back a good memory.

"Oh, yeah?" Percy challenged. "Let's hear it."

**THE WINDOW**

Once upon a time, there were two men and a woman who lived in a crappy rundown shack on the outskirts of the Big Apple. These three were named Piper, Jason, and Leo. Piper, of course, had her own room, while Jason and Leo shared a room.

Tonight was like any other night. All three of them said goodnight to each other and went to bed. But it was so warm out that Piper couldn't sleep. So she tried by closing her eyes and lying down, but she just couldn't.

She just sat up in bed and watched the darkness outside.

Suddenly, she saw two small lights coming up the hill from the cemetery. Piper wasn't really frightened, because she thought it was her eyes playing tricks on her.

Piper noticed the lights coming toward the house now, getting closer and closer. Now, she was beginning to get frightened, for she didn't think it was her eyes playing tricks on her.

Finally, the glowing lights came close enough so Piper could make out a creature. The lights were its eyes, and the thing looked like a dead person that had come back to life.

Piper wanted desperately to scream, but she was too frightened that her voice box had been disabled.

The creature broke into Piper's room and crawled inside on the bed next to her.

"Okay," Piper said, "I already have a boyfriend."

She was about to run, but the creature put its arm around her, pulled back her head, and its teeth went into her neck. Piper screamed as she saw the blood coming from her, and passed out.

Meanwhile, in Jason and Leo's room, the boys woke up.

"Jason," Leo said, "you hear that?"

"Yeah," Jason said, rubbing his eyes. "Maybe Piper had another dream with Aphrodite in it."

"Nah. She hasn't had one of those dreams in a while," said Leo. "Let's go check up on her."

When the reached Piper's room, the creature had gone, and Piper was on the floor, blood coming from her neck and she was unconscious.

"I'll try to stop the bleeding," said Jason. "You go chase after it."

Leo managed to find the creature and began to chase it, but soon he lost it completely.

The next morning, the three of them went to Hades, who'd let them have the house near the cemetery.

"That sounds like Sybaris," said Hades. "She was the first vampire in Greek mythology."

"What do we do?" asked Leo.

"Absolutely nothing," said Hades. "If she comes back, let me know."

"Piper," Jason said, "I think we should move somewhere else."

"No," Piper replied. "We're staying here so we don't have to pay a higher rent, remember? At least for a few more months. I don't think she'll come back. I'll Charmspeak her if I have to."

That afternoon, Jason and Leo went to Ares' Weapons Store to get some "stuff."

"What can I get you kids?" asked Ares, coming out of the back room.

"Uh…" said Jason, admiring all the weapons on the wall. "This vampire keeps bugging us, and we need a weapon strong enough to kill her."

"Oh, well," Ares said immediately, "you'll need this." And he held up a pistol.

"Cool!" said Leo. "Jason, that can be yours. I'll make my own when we get home."

Jason found Leo working late into the night. "What're you making there?" he asked his friend.

"This, my friend, is called the Leo Valdez 4K." Leo happily held up the gun. "It kills anything, and it shoots four bullets at a time!"

One night, many weeks later, Piper was woken up by a tapping sound on her window. She opened her eyes to find Sybaris—the one and only—staring in at her.

Jason and Leo heard Piper scream for them. They grabbed their guns and chased after Sybaris. Leo shot her in the leg, but she managed to escape near an old burial volt.

The next day, Hades came to inspect the volt. Once he opened it, he led them to the nearest coffin, which contained a young woman. Her teeth were dripping with blood.

"What're we doing now?" asked Piper.

Hades waved his hands and started a fire. "I'm going to throw her in the fire. This will get rid of her forever."

So they watched Sybaris burn, until only ashes were seen.

**BACK AT PERCY'S**

Nico smiled at the three others. "Well?" he asked. "What do ya think?"

"I liked it," said Tyson. "I'm only saying that so I can have some peanut butter."

Percy threw him a huge jar of the sticky stuff.

"Thanks," Tyson said, already with peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Nico, I didn't know you could tell ghost stories," Grover said.

"Well, when you've been in Hades for as long as I have," said Nico, "stuff just kind of comes to your mind."

Percy took out a bowl of popcorn. "Now," he said, "who wants to watch a chick flick and make fun of it?"

"Sure!" Tyson said.

**YAY! IT'S DONE! I am finally at 50 reviews! Please keep them coming! Thank you guys so much for your continuous support! I love all of you!**

**Next up will be "The Little Match Girl!"**

**~Icy**


	21. The Little Hearth Goddess

**Nothing is owned. **

**This should be pretty interesting…hope you like it! I'm not too familiar with this fairy tale, but let's see how it goes! If it ends up being HORRIBLE, I'll redo it! Let me know how it is!**

**WITH KATIE AND DEMETER**

"Katie, dear," Demeter nagged her four-year-old, "eat your cereal so you can become a big, strong girl."

Katie, who loved her mother, just wanted her to shut the Hades up for once. "But mommy," she pouted, "it doesn't taste good."

"Listen, how about I tell you a story, and you can eat when I'm done."

"Otay, mommy."

**THE LITTLE HEARTH GODDESS**

Once upon a time, in the land of Olympus, there lived a poor family. The mother Rhea had faded long ago, so Hestia was in charge of everybody, with the occasional help from Poseidon or Hera. The father Kronos was a terrible man, because he was always hitting or punching everybody.

One day, as Hestia was cleaning the toilets, he said, "Hestia! I want you to take these matches and sell them for money on Olympus!"

So Hestia, after doing her list of horrible chores, went to the market and began to sell the matches.

Many hours later, Hestia returned.

"Ah, Hestia," said Kronos bitterly, "have you sold the matches?"

"I've only sold a few, father."

"Keep selling them then!"

The next night, it was the same. Hestia had only sold a few matches that day.

"Do not come back until you have sold each and every one of those matches!" Kronos snarled.

Hestia hadn't sold a match for a while, and it was beginning to get dark. "Gods, can't a girl get some light here?" She lit a match and saw an image that frightened her.

She was pretty sure that a few months ago her grandmother Gaea faded. Yet there she was, baking cookies. And the freaky thing was that Hestia could SMELL them, too! Hestia didn't believe what was happening, so she threw the match to the ground.

She'd gone through all the matches, and saw the same image. Finally, a wonderful light escaped one of the burned-out matches on the ground. She walked toward it and found Gaea holding her arms out to her. Hestia stepped in through the fire and lived happily ever after, away from Kronos and the awful depression. Now she was living with Gaea. Now she was happy.

**WITH KATIE AND DEMETER**

"So, honey, did you like it?" asked Demeter.

"I liked it," said Katie.

"Good, dear. Now eat your cereal."

Katie made a sick face, but ate her cereal anyway.

**Okay. It's short, but I think I got the gist of the story…right? Let me know how I did with it. Thanks to the two reviewers who made this story possible. Check out the reviews for their names.**

**~Icy**


	22. The Black Puppy

**Thanks again for all of the constructive reviews. I really appreciate them!**

**I'm only going to do the introductions once every few chapters.**

**Disclaimer: ALL CREDIT GOES TO BOTH RICK RIORDAN AND ALVIN SCHWARTZ**

**THE BLACK PUPPY**

It was midnight. Annabeth Chase was in her house, alone, while her family was on vacation for a few days. Annabeth needed to stay home to finish some blueprints for the remodeling of Olympus.

It had gotten quite chilly, so she went downstairs to turn the heat up. But on her way back to bed, a little black puppy ran down the stairs. It ran past her and into the darkness.

"What in Hades?" Annabeth wondered aloud. She had never seen the puppy before. She owned two cats named Blossom and Midnight, so she probably would've heard a "meow" from the basement where they slept.

Annabeth, who was starting to get frightened, ran upstairs and looked in every single room. She couldn't find a puppy anywhere. She went downstairs and brought the two cats up, but they acted like they were the only animals in the house.

The next night, again at midnight, Annabeth was in her room finishing some blueprints. She heard, in the attic, feet scampering across the floor. So she ran upstairs to the attic, but it was empty. She looked under the bed, behind the curtains, and even in the old dresser. There was absolutely nothing.

But when she got back to her bedroom, she heard a puppy running down the stairs.

This happened for several days, until Annabeth got Athena over to investigate.

They waited in Annabeth's bedroom. When the clock struck midnight, they heard the animal running around above them. Then they heard it on the stairs. They went out into the hall, and it was at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at them. Athena started to whistle, and the puppy wagged its tail. Then it vanished.

The next night, Annabeth brought her cats upstairs to tell her when the puppy was coming. When the clock struck midnight, the puppy moved above them, then came down the stairs.

The cats started meowing like crazy, but Annabeth couldn't see the puppy or hear it. Her cats looked like they wanted to run, but weren't sure which way to go.

Suddenly, one of them dropped to the floor, bleeding. A few moments later, it had died. The other cat meowed sadly at the loss of her friend, then everything was quiet and still.

The next night, Athena came back with a sheath of arrows and her bow. At the usual time, the black puppy ran down the stairs. Once again, Athena whistled to it, and it wagged its tail happily. But when Athena was about to launch an arrow, the puppy growled at them and vanished.

And that was the last time Annabeth saw the black puppy. But it never left her house. Once in a while, she heard it moving above her. Once she heard it in the hallway, and once more on the stairs. She didn't see it again, but she knew it was there.

**HOW WAS THAT?! Please R+R!**

**~Icy**


	23. Faster and Faster

**Okay, thanks so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

**Disclaimer: Taken from Rick Riordan and Alvin Schwartz. This story, in the book, is titled "Faster and Faster."**

**FASTER AND FASTER**

Jason and Leo went walking in the woods together. It was a crisp autumn day outside. But the woods were quiet—too quiet.

"It's too freaking quiet in here," said Leo.

It wasn't quiet for long, though! After Jason pushed Leo around, Leo ran after Jason, who ran behind a bush and hid from his friend. Jason was about to scream, "Leo! I'm in the bushes!" But when he looked at the ground, he noticed an old drum just sitting all alone there.

"Hey, Leo! C'mere and see what I've got!"

Leo ran toward Jason, who showed Leo the drum.

"Uh…Jason," said Leo, "there's red stuff on it."

"So?"

"I think it's blood. Let's split."

But Jason wanted to try the drum. So he sat on the ground and held it between his legs. He began to play slowly, then gradually got faster and faster, like he couldn't stop.

Suddenly, a cloud of dust came toward them, then a herd of centaurs came toward them.

"Jason! Let's go! C'mon!" Leo begged.

Jason dropped the drum.

Leo heard a bow firing an arrow, then a scream. When Leo turned around, he noticed Jason was face-down in the middle of the grass dead. There wasn't a mark on his body from the arrow. When a few gods arrived, they saw no centaurs, no hoof prints, and no drum. The only thing they noticed was how crisp and quiet that autumn day was.

**This one was truly short, but it only takes less than a page to tell this story. Next chapter shall be longer!**


	24. Hades the Ugly Doll

**HADES THE UGLY DOLL**

During the summer months, two farmers named Zeus and Poseidon took their cows up to the mountains for a vacation. Usually they stayed there until September came, then they went back to Olympus Grove, where they worked their butts off.

The work was easy, but no one ever said it wasn't boring! All day they took care of their cows. And at night, they went back to the cabin. They ate, worked, and slept. It was the same lame schedule every…single…freaking day!

Then Poseidon had an idea that changed everything about the "vacations." "I think we should make a doll the size of a dude," he said. "We could put it in the garden to scare away the crows."

After thinking of some names for the doll, they decided on Hades.

Now, Hades was a real guy, selling his own crap on his own crappy farm, called Olympus Cornfields. Ever since Poseidon and Zeus started raising their own cows, Hades became their arch nemesis, and would do anything to get them into trouble.

Now, why would they put Hades in doll form? He was an ugly guy. He never showered, so he smelled to the high peaks of Mount Olympus in Greece. For another thing, he always wore ratty clothes, so he looked like a homeless man.

Once Poseidon and Zeus had decided to name the doll Hades, they stuff a few old sacs with straw, gave it a beard, and added angry eyes. And they also gave it his name, too!

Each morning, they put him in the garden, and the birds never came near them. Each night they brought him inside in case there was rain that night. When they were feeling playful and happy, they'd speak to him. Poseidon would say, "How are the cows, Hades?" Then Zeus, pretending he was Hades, would answer, "Slowly…and I hate you, crap-head!" They would both laugh their heads off, but Hades wouldn't.

When something didn't go right that day, Hades got blamed for it. He would be beated and punched.

Sometimes, his face would get smothered in stew, which the gods were both sick of. "How's the stew, Hades?" he would say. "You'd better eat it…or else will burn you in the fire!"

One night, after Poseidon had fed Hades some stew, Hades grunted.

"What the Hades was that?" asked Zeus.

"It was Hades," Poseidon answered nervously. "I can't believe he'd do that."

"How's that possible?" asked Zeus. "He's just a bunch of straw."

"I say we throw him in the fire," said Poseidon. He grabbed Hades by the arms and hurled him toward the fire.

"What are you doing?" Zeus demanded. "Whatever's going on, it's probably nothing. Let's just keep an eye on him for a few days."

So Hades sat there in the corner of the cabin. He wasn't played with or fed or taken outside anymore. Now and then he grunted, but that was all.

After a few days, the two gods feared of nothing. Maybe something had gotten inside the doll and that's what the grunting sound was.

Poseidon and Zeus put Hades in the garden and brought him inside at night. They talked to him, or punched him if they felt angry.

Then one day, Zeus was startled by something. "Poseidon, Hades is growing."

"Oh, good. I'm not dreaming," Poseidon laughed. "I thought I was imagining that, Zeus."

"I think we've been up here too long," said Zeus. "Let's go back to the farm tomorrow and leave him here."

The next morning, while they were eating their oatmeal, Hades stood up and walked out of the cabin. He then proceeded to climb on the roof and he trotted back and forth. He did this for the next twenty-four hours. And in the morning, he climbed down and stood in the garden.

Poseidon and Zeus were so scared that they practically took their cows back to the farm. When they left, they looked for Hades, but couldn't see him anywhere.

As the two gods were singing some stupid and pointless Greek songs with lots of Greek swear words in it, they realized they'd forgotten the milking stools. Neither of them wanted to fetch them, but stools were expensive.

They drew straws, and Poseidon was the lucky one who got to go back. "I'll meet you in the farm," he said, and Zeus continued walking.

When Zeus came to a hill, he looked back for Poseidon. He didn't see him, but he saw Hades. He was on the roof of the cabin. As Zeus watched him, Hades sat on the cabin's roof, and stretched out a bloody skin to dry.

**This story, by the way, was called "Harold." It's an excellent story, and freaked me out when I was little.**


	25. The Ghost Hand

**THE GHOST'S HAND**

In a far-off valley deep in Long Island, New York, a beautiful camp called Camp Half-Blood rested. By day, it was calm, with campers running around, trying to attend their daily activities. Some of the campers were quite content to be living in this camp, while others were unsure about one thing.

This "one thing" happened at night, when Apollo had parked his sun car in his garage and had gone to bed, and everyone was sleeping.

By night, Camp Half-Blood was a very scary place, and it all began in the woods, where this random swamp was. No one ever noticed the swamp before, and it was never mentioned. That's because it was nestled deep into the woods, and no one had ever noticed it, except for Chiron and Dionysus, and they'd never tell what they saw in the woods. Strange creatures took over that swamp at night, and they could be anything from dead people to drunk scorpions.

There was a boy named Travis Stoll who said that it was all just bull crap that lurked in the woods.

"I'm telling you guys," he explained, "I've been deep within the woods before, and whatever was out there scampered away when I farted really loud."

His friends, Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo, laughed anxiously. "Seriously, Travis?" asked Nico.

"Dead serious," Travis replied. "In fact, to prove my point, I'll do some creature hunting tonight. And if I get freaked out and run, I'll give you guys fifty drachmas each."

"Where can you get that money?" Nico asked.

"I know a guy," Travis said, a sneer playing around his lips. "Now, leave me alone while I scoop up this Pegasus crap."

That night, Percy and Nico ran over to Cabin Eleven, where they found Travis telling Connor his plan. Connor decided to tag along, so off the four friends went.

Thick clouds were obscuring the moon from sight, so it made it much worse to walk through the woods right now.

Travis had brought along a flashlight, and his philosophy was that no matter how dark the night was, his son of Hermes powers would protect him through the flashlight.

"Well, off we go," Connor said, "we're going to watch Travis Stoll get eaten alive by whatever lurks in the swamp."

"Shut up!" Travis yelled back angrily.

"You guys want to sing something while we're walking?" asked Nico.

"No, because if we sing one of your songs, we'll all start crying," said Travis angrily. "You listen to all this depressing Italian music and it all sucks. Besides, it's not like it's far. We're halfway there already."

True to his word, they'd come to the swamp about ten minutes later. Travis stepped to the very edge of it, and yelled loudly, "Hey, monsters! Come here and eat me alive!"

No one replied. There was finally a response after Travis sneezed and dropped his flashlight in the swamp. It stayed put.

"Well," said Percy, "you think we're gonna get eaten?"

"Nah," said Connor. "Travis, scoot around to the other side of the swamp. We'll stay here if anything happens to you."

Travis finally decided to step gingerly through the swamp, but stopped in his tracks when he felt something slither against his ankle. "Uh…guys? I think something's in here."

"Yeah, right," said Percy. "Sure, Travis. Sure there's something in there. You liar."

"No, I swear on the River Styx there's something in here."

Despite the fact that there was something in the swamp, Travis made it to the other side of the swamp, where he pushed himself up against a large willow tree and sighed with relief.

The clouds shifted and out came the moon, shining a circle of light on Travis. He was still pressed up against the tree, but he had his arms in front of him, like he was in a fight move. Then the clouds obscured the moon again.

When the moon came back out from behind the clouds, Travis had changed his position. He wasn't against the tree anymore. He was holding onto it with one hand, and the other hand seemed to be stuck in the swamp. It looked as if the hand of a corpse had grabbed him from out of the swamp. Whatever actually did have hold of Travis jerked him into the swamp.

When the clouds covered the moon for a third time, Connor, Nico, and Percy all ran back toward the safety of their cabins. Again and again, they fell from tripping over stray tree branches.

They soon came upon a drunk scorpion. "H-hey," it stuttered, "are y-you g-guys…you want a beer now tonight?"

"Not now, drunkard!" yelled Percy. "We're trying not to die!" And he fell over yet another stray tree branch.

In the morning, all the cabins gathered at the dining pavilion and began to search for Travis Stoll. To Connor's dismay, they had to give him up for lost after a few days.

About a month later, in the evening, the campers heard a loud cry. They turned toward the woods to see Connor Stoll, begging them to follow him.

They found Travis near the willow, and he was shaking and moaning like his mind had vanished. He kept pointing with one hand at an invisible being, while his other arm bled. The hand of his right arm had been ripped off.

Later, the campers decided that it was the Ghost Hand that had done it. But if anyone knew what happened, it was Travis Stoll, and he never spoke another word again.

**This was taken from "The Dead Hand" by Alvin Schwartz.**


	26. Pegasus

**DISCLAIMER: Taken from "Bess" by Alvin Schwartz. I don't own PJO either.**

**PEGASUS**

Poseidon raised horses, both on land and under the sea. He had many of them, but his favorite was named Pegasus. Pegasus was a beautiful black horse that always obeyed Poseidon. Unfortunately, Pegasus could no longer support Poseidon's weight, because he was getting too old.

That summer, for the Hades of it, Poseidon went to the Oracle of Delphi. The Oracle studied her fortune-telling cards, and breathed, "I see something bad for you." She glared at him. "Your favorite horse will cause you to die. I am not sure when, but it shall happen. It's right here in the cards."

"That's a bunch of bull crap," Poseidon laughed. He knew that it was all crazy. Pegasus was as dangerous as the carpet in Poseidon's bedroom.

However, whenever he saw Pegasus, he remembered the Oracle's warning.

That fall, Demeter—who owned a farm on the other side of the country—asked if she could have Pegasus. Her daughter Persephone was living with her, and she said she'd like to ride it.

"Of course she can!" Poseidon boomed with delight. "Persephone will give Pegasus something to do."

Later, he told Amphitrite about it. "Now Pegasus won't kill me, honey!" And they both laughed.

That spring, he met up with Demeter in the store. "How's Pegasus?" he asked her.

"Oh. He was okay for a while," Demeter explained. "Persephone fell in love with him. Then he got sick, so, unfortunately, I had to shoot him to put him out of his misery. It was rather disappointing.

Poseidon let loose a huge sigh of relief. He'd wondered how Pegasus could kill him.

"Can I see him? He was my favorite. I'd like to…just say goodbye."

The bones of the dead horse were in a corner of Demeter's farm. Poseidon knelt down and touched Pegasus' skull.

Just then, a scorpion—which had made its home inside the skull—stung Poseidon and killed him.


	27. Aphrodite and the Rock

**So I totally forgot that "The Princess and the Pea" was a Fairy Tale, too, so I will post it now before I forget. Then after that, all it'll be is campfire stories…WHOO-HOO!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.**

**APHRODITE AND THE ROCK**

Once upon a time, Zeus and Hera had a very handsome son named Hephaestus. Hephaestus wasn't like other gods—he just liked to stay in the basement all day, making stuff out of metal.

"Zeus, honey," Hera told her husband one night, "I think we need to find Hephaestus a wife."

"Yeah. He can't talk to himself forever down there," Zeus replied.

So the two gods put up a sign.

_**ATTENTION FELLOW OLYMPIANS! Are you lonely? Are you looking for the right guy? Well, stop on by King Zeus and Queen Hera's palace tonight for dinner, and you will have your man.**_

Around five, Aphrodite, Demeter, Persephone, and Nemesis arrived on the gods' doorstep.

"So, Persephone," said Zeus, talking to the goddess who was holding a bunch of roses. "Why should you marry our son?"

"Well, I'm the goddess of flowers," said Persephone simply. "Therefore, I shall bring him the nicest-smelling flowers in the world."

"Cute," said Hera, "but I don't think so."

"Demeter, why would you be the perfect match for our son?" Zeus asked.

"Well, I'll stuff all the cereal I can down his throat."

"Just…just get out," Hera snapped.

"Nemesis, why would you be a good match for our son?" asked Zeus.

"Well," said Nemesis, "I will take revenge upon all of his enemies."

"Being the goddess of family, dear, I don't think I like your attitude," said Hera. "Please leave. Now, Miss Aphrodite, why would you be Hephaestus' wife?"

"Hello! Goddess of love here!"

"Right. Well, let's have you sleep over. You may take the guest room down the hall."

Before Aphrodite got into bed, Hera slipped a large rock underneath Aphrodite's bed, so the mattress bulged out a bit. She did this because she wanted her son out of the house…really badly. If Aphrodite felt the rock, Hephaestus could marry her. But if she didn't, Hephaestus would be in the basement talking to himself day after freaking day.

The next morning, Zeus and Hera sat at the kitchen table, while Hephaestus sat with them, mumbling engineering stuff to himself in Greek.

Aphrodite walked down the stairs, clutching her back. "Good morning, Mr. Zeus and Mrs. Hera."

"Good morning, dear," said Hera politely, even though she disliked Aphrodite with a burning passion. "How did you sleep?"

"Yeah, okay. There was this huge freaking rock underneath my bed."

"Say no more! Hephaestus, get your crap and get out of my house!" Zeus roared. "We've found your match!"

So Hephaestus and Aphrodite got married that day.

Hera cleared her throat loudly. "Hephaestus, do you take this…nice woman…to be your wife until your divorce—which will hopefully happen in the next month—do you part?"

"Yeah."

"Do you, Aphrodite?"

"Like, totally!"

"I now pronounce you husband and annoying wife. You may smooch the bride."

So Aphrodite and Hephaestus got married in the throne room on Olympus, until Hephaestus found Aphrodite cheating on him, so he went back to live in Hera and Zeus' basement, where he lived happily ever after kissing robots.

**THE END! NO MORE FAIRY TALES!**


	28. The Purple Ribbon

**Disclaimer: Taken from "In a Dark, Dark Room" by Alvin Schwartz. The story is called "The Green Ribbon". Nothing is owned from PJO either.**

**PURPLE RIBBONS**

Once there was a little brat named Clarisse La Rue. As one could see, she was like all the other little brats in the school, but she always wore a purple ribbon around her neck.

Also in her class, there was a little boy named Chris Rodriguez. They really liked each other. One day at recess, he asked Clarisse as he pushed her on the swing, "What's up with that purple ribbon?"

"Nothing, punk," Clarisse would snap at him.

"Why do you wear it?"

"None of your freaking business. You'll just have to wait."

Years later, Chris and Clarisse fell in love and got married. After their wedding on Olympus, Chris said, "Okay, Clarisse. We're married now. Why do you wear that ribbon?"

"I can't tell you," Clarisse snarled at him.

"Please?" Chris begged.

"You'll just have to wait," Clarisse said, as patiently as she could. "I'll tell you when the right time comes."

Years later still, the couple grew old together. One day, Clarisse came down with a horrible case of pneumonia, and Apollo told her that she was dying since she didn't get to the hospital fast enough.

So Clarisse yelled for Chris to come to her side. "Okay, punk. Now I can tell you about the purple ribbon. Untie it, and you'll see why I just couldn't tell you earlier."

Slowly, Chris untied the ribbon, and Clarisse's head…fell off.


	29. Gross It's That!

**For the sake of this fanfic, just accept that the gods can be mortals in some of these stories!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own "It's HIM!" or PJO/HOO stuff.**

**GROSS…IT'S **_**THAT**_**!**

Persephone USED to be nice, but now she was just plain evil! And her husband Hades had caught her personality disorder and was just as bad. They'd gone out for a vacation together so no one would get bothered by them in the Underworld.

One day, they were out at White Castle, and Persephone got so fed up with Hades that she grabbed an ax and chopped his head off—just like that. She threw him in the trunk of their chariot—which was now a hearse—and went to the cabin they'd been staying in. When she got home, she buried Hades in the front yard, took her sliders inside, and went to watch TV.

After a while, she heard this creepy voice. And it said, "Who's staying with me tonight? WWHHOOOO?"

"Damn! It's that thing," she told herself. "SHUT THE HADES UP, HADES!"

After a half-hour, she heard it again, but now it was closer. "Who's sitting with me tonight? WWHOOOO?"

"NOT ME!" she yelled back. "SIT BY YOURSELF, JACKASS!"

Then the voice was heard again, but it sounded like it was at her front door. And it said, "Who's going to be with me tonight? WWHOOOOO?"

"No one," she snarled. "Be by yourself, jerk-face!"

She stood up to go watch TV in the bedroom, but now the voice was at her back, and it whispered, "Who's going to stay with me tonight? WHHOOOO?"

But before she could answer back, someone came around the corner and grabbed her, and the voice shrieked, "YOOUUUU AAAAARRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!"

**Yeah, Hades would act like a "jerk-face," but Persephone probably wouldn't! Anyway, R+R!**


	30. The Black Chariot and Strange Noises

**Disclaimer: PJO/HOO, "Like Cats' Eyes," and "Footsteps" are not owned by me! Sadly.**

**THE BLACK CHARIOT**

"Clarisse," Athena called quietly, "come here."

Clarisse Rodriguez came rushing into the small room of the house where her husband Chris lay dying. Athena, who had felt some sympathy for Clarisse, began taking care of him as his "nurse."

After a while, Athena suggested Clarisse should lie down. Clarisse obliged, and went into her own room to rest. She sat on her bed staring out the window.

Suddenly, Clarisse saw two horses come into her driveway. Not now, she thought. I'm not doing well.

But this car wasn't bringing anyone she longed for. It was a black chariot, pulling a cart behind it. At least, that's what it looked like. The chariot screeched to a stop, and Hades—the Lord of the Dead—came out. He stared up at her as he walked into the house. A moment later, he came back, lifting something into the cart.

A moment later, Athena came in. "Clarisse," she said, "Chris died."

**STRANGE NOISES**

Bianca di Angelo was doing her math homework. Her brother Nico was upstairs watching TV. Their mother Maria was out, but she was due home any minute.

Bianca heard the door open and shut. "Hi, mama!" she yelled to her mother.

But Maria didn't answer. Bianca heard footsteps, but they didn't belong to Maria. They were heavier, like a man's.

"Who's there?" she called nervously.

No one replied.

But whoever it was walked upstairs to the second floor.

"Oh, gods!" Bianca thought. "Nico's up there!" She rushed upstairs to Nico's room. Nico was drinking Mountain Dew and watching TV.

"What?" he asked.

"Did you hear some footsteps up here?" she asked him.

"Nope," he replied.

Bianca shut the door to his room and went back to doing her homework, frightened like a crazy woman.

Soon she heard the footsteps again. They came down the stairs and into the living room. Then the door to the kitchen began to open slowly.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Bianca screamed.

The footsteps turned around and walked out the front door. The door opened, then it shut.

Bianca ran to see who it was. There was no one out there, nor were there any footprints in the snow.

**Okay I did two of them since they were so short. I promise you: longer ones coming soon!**


	31. Stuff Happens

**So sorry it took me so long to update. Once again…blame school. I've got a paper to write for human biology and a math project/lesson plan to do…all due this month. So if I don't get any more chappies up for a while, don't stop reviewing. I'm off for summer break in a few weeks, so I will have PLENTY of time to update!**

**STUFF HAPPENS**

Zeus lived on Olympus with his woman Hera. Now they were a happy couple. They had two kids named Ares and Hephaestus, but they were at Olympus College being stupid and didn't give a hell about anything their parents did anyway.

On this particular day, Zeus grabbed his iPod and turned on some classical music (because that's what old gods like him tend to listen to). He walked to where he kept his pet cow (yes, Zeus and Hera have a cow because they lived on a farm on Olympus).

"Okay, Milkhead," said Zeus, getting down on one knee and pulling a pail toward him, "let's get this over with. I've got a busy life—not—and I need to get back to my woman."

Zeus started to milk Milkhead, but Milkhead didn't produce a droplet of milk.

"Huh," said Zeus, "that's odd."

He called Demeter, the vet, and asked her to come over.

Once Demeter examined Milkhead, she stated, "Nothing's wrong with her. She's just giving you a hard time. That or some crazy witch got ahold of her."

"HA!" yelled Zeus. "You're funny, Demeter!"

"Well, thank the gods there aren't any witches around here, right?"

"Oh, there might be one," said Zeus, his smiling flipping upside down into a frown. "Hecate. But I haven't seen her in a while. Maybe she moved out or something."

Zeus had had a problem with Hecate the weekend before. He'd hit her cat Bubbles with his car and had killed it. "I'm really sorry, Hecate," he told her. "Can I get you a new one?"

Her eyes glowed brightly. "No! I raised my wittle Bubbles from a kitty," she snarled at him. "I loved him! You'll pay for that one, Zeus!"

So Zeus bought her a new cat, and heard nothing. Then his cow stopped giving milk. Zeus didn't know what was going on, but the bad luck faded, until his chariot lost a wheel on his way to the grocery store. When he got home from the store—after walking three-and-a-half miles—he saw that Hera had fallen and broken her arm.

We're having a lot of bad luck, he told himself. Maybe it is Hecate getting even with me.

Zeus didn't really believe in all that witch stuff. But Poseidon did. When they were little, Poseidon told Zeus all about witches, and what you had to do to stop him. "So, you have to find a black walnut tree, and you draw the girl on it. Then you mark an 'x' where the heart is, and you hammer a nail in the 'x'. Every day, you hammer deeper. If she's causing trouble, she'll feel the pain. Once she can't stand it, she'll send someone to borrow something from you. If you give her that something, that breaks the nail's power, and she'll go on torturing you. If you don't, the pain will kill her." And that's what Poseidon believed.

Zeus thought it was pure bull. He knew better. But his thoughts changed when Milkhead had a heart attack and died…just like that. And Zeus was very angry. He thought, Maybe it is Hecate after all.

From Ares' room, he got a red permanent marker, a hammer, a nail, and went into the woods. He found a black walnut tree, and drew Hecate on it. Then he made the 'x' where the heart was. He stuck the nail into the 'x'. Then he left.

The next day, Hestia came by. "Hecate's not feeling well. She wants to know if she can borrow a can of soup."

"I'm sorry," said Zeus. "I don't have any soup right now. As you can see, it is not flu season, dear."

When Hestia left, Zeus hammered the nail in about an inch.

The next day, Hestia was back. "She's sick and she's wondering when you're going to have that soup for her."

"Dude," said Zeus, "I don't have any."

Zeus went into the woods and hammered the nail in some more.

Hestia came back the following day. "She's pretty sick. I mean, like, really sick. Like, so sick that I have to help her to the bathroom and stay in there with her until she's—"

"I won't have any soup for a while," Zeus snarled. "Just…just get the Hades off my lawn, woman!"

Hera, after this time, became angry. "Zeus, dear, you must stop this. If this works it's like murder."

"Yeah, when she stops, I will, too," Zeus promised.

Hera and Zeus were drinking wine on the front porch. Zeus stared in the direction of Hecate's house, wondering how she was doing.

Then he SAW her, coming toward him, with her wrinkly face and her black coat. She was struggling to walk.

"I'm really hurting her," Zeus muttered. He was about to grab the hammer to pull the nail out of the tree, but Hecate was already in the yard, and she looked like she wanted to kill him.

"So," she breathed, "first you run over my Bubbles, and now you won't give me soup. Look! This sore throat doesn't get better without—" And she fell dead at Zeus' feet.

Later, Zeus had Hades come to examine the body.

"Honestly," Hades said, putting two fingers to Hecate's neck, "I'm not surprised she dropped dead. Of course, it was her heart."

"We thought she was a witch," Zeus said.

"Yeah," said Hades. "I thought so, too. I was gonna kill her, but you beat me to it. Once again, the King of the Gods beats me at killing someone. THAT'S MY SPECIALTY! THAT'S MY SPECIALTY, ZEUS!"

"I'm sorry," said Zeus. "I'm sorry I did your dirty work for you."

"Eh," Hades replied, "that's cool. But next time…" He threw some medical equipment into a medicine bag, "I want in on the fun."

**Taken from "Such Things Happen" by Alvin Schwartz.**


	32. Heroes in the Mirror

**Here's a new one! Enjoy please!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I should just stop saying "I don't own stuff." You know that I don't own the stuff anyway, so why bother saying it? None of us are RR, but if we were, we'd all be sitting at the beach wondering which Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus books are being read right now. This was originally called "A Ghost in the Mirror." And it's in the form of a game, rather than a scary story. But these lovable characters are in it anyway, so enjoy!**

**HEROES IN THE MIRROR**

Some demigods play this game when it's past curfew, but they don't feel like going to bed. This game involved trying to conjure up a dead demigod or another dead person from mythology. The demigods believe that a ghost appears, and they want to have some fun, so they decide to try it. Some prefer any ghost, while others have one in mind already.

One of these heroes is named Silena Beauregard. She was a daughter of Aphrodite, who had died in the Titan War. Her ghost still haunts the Aphrodite cabin, and even Aphrodite's palace.

Another ghost is called Zoe Nightshade, who was the lieutenant Hunter of Artemis, who was killed during a war involving her, Artemis, Atlas, Percy, and the gang. Every now and then, she scares the living hell out of the Artemis cabin…when the Hunters are there, of course. Occasionally, she'll scare Artemis, too.

The third ghost is Bianca di Angelo, the older sister of the very depressed Nico di Angelo. She was killed while trying to fight a robot named Talos—of all other things she could've died from. She haunts Nico in his dreams, and he wakes up crying his eyes out. Just kidding! Nico doesn't cry.

Now that you understand these heroes, it is time for me to tell you what the players of the game do.

Usually, Percy and Grover play this game together in Percy's cabin. He and Grover go into the bathroom, lock the door, and turn off the lights. They stare into the mirror and repeat the ghost's name, usually for about a hundred times. If they're successful, the hero's face will slowly take the shape of their face in the mirror.

Heroes are not always happy with this, so they may try to break the mirror and come into Percy's room. But since Grover is scared of his own reflection, Percy usually turns the lights on if Grover gets too scared. And when that takes place, the game ends.

**I know it's short. It's a game, so I couldn't really describe Percy and Grover playing it. It didn't go according to plan, either. Sorry! Later, peeps!**


	33. Good News and Bad News

**Hey y'alls! Here's another scary story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RR, PJO, HOO, or Alvin Schwartz's "The Bad News."**

**GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS**

During happy times at Camp Half-Blood, Percy and Grover loved to play baseball. When they weren't on quests, that's just what they liked to do, okay? Enough said.

Anyway, Percy had been the pitcher, and Grover had always played second base. But they were really old now, and spent their time on their butts, clogging their arteries in front of the TV with popcorn.

"Hey, Percy," said Grover, "change this crap channel. I don't like 'Hercules Busts Heads.'"

"No way, you old goat!"

"Perseus Jackson! Change this dumb, stupid channel right now or I'll get Hades up here!"

Percy changed the channel, and on came a baseball game.

"Hey, Perce," Grover said, "you think they play baseball in the Underworld?"

Percy shrugged. He'd been to the Underworld quite a few times, and he never saw anyone playing baseball. Heck, he never saw fun there, either.

"That's a good question," he said. "How about this: the one who gets there first has to let the other one know somehow."

A few days later, it turned out that Percy went to Hades first, and Grover waited patiently to hear from him.

One day, Grover found Percy in the living room, and he was very excited to see him. "What's it like? They play baseball?"

"Uh…" Percy's ghost said, "yeah, sure. They play baseball. But, G-man, I have some good news and bad news. The good news: we play baseball in the Underworld, but our team sucks."

"What's the bad news?" asked Grover.

"Well, I don't know how to put this," said Percy, "but you're scheduled to play at second base tomorrow."


	34. Percy and the Nectar Factory: Part I

ALL RIGHT, GUYS! I'M BACK WITH MORE…UH…NOT FAIRY TALES, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH!

NOTE: These aren't exactly fairy tales, but stories I've heard when I was little. Like all those Roald Dahl stories. In fact, that's what the next three stories shall be! For the finale—which won't be for a while—I've decided to do something very special! So I guess you'll have to keep reading it! Enjoy!

**PERCY JACKSON AND THE NECTAR FACTORY**

Once there was a half-blood named Percy Jackson, who wasn't like many half-bloods. He was very poor, and lived with his mother Sally, and his stepdad Paul. They could afford hardly anything, and Paul worked odd jobs to help pay for everything. Sally worked odd jobs as well, so Percy often had to help himself on school nights.

Today was like any other day. The birds in the trees woke Percy up, telling him it was time to get up and get ready for school. He sighed and rolled out of bed, got ready, and went off to school.

He was only a few minutes late.

"You're late, Mr. Jackson," the teacher, Mrs. Blackwell, told him. "Now, go mark yourself tardy."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Blackwell, but I was—"

"Mr. Jackson, your personal problems do not interest me. Now, go sign yourself in as tardy."

Percy glumly walked to the attendance clipboard and signed his name under the heading TARDY.

Mrs. Blackwell began her lesson in English. "All right, class. Please put everything away. We'll be having a quiz on Chapters 1-3 today over _the Odyssey_."

She handed out the quiz and the room became quiet. Percy knew he'd done poorly, but at least he tried. He handed the paper to Mrs. Blackwell, who stared at it. "Percy, these answers are all wrong."

"Which ones?"

"See for yourself."

**Name: PERCY JACKSON Date: Jan. 18****th**

**DIRECTIONS: Please answer the following questions in complete sentences.**

**1. Who was the wisdom goddess in Greek mythology?**

** ANSWER: LIKE I CARE! I KNOW IT'S ATHENA, BUT SHE SUCKS!**

**2. Why isn't Odysseus at his house?**

** ANSWER: HE'S MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER CHICK OTHER THAN PENELOPE.**

**3. What is Odysseus' son's name?**

** ANSWER: SUPERMAN!**

**4. Who is the head Suitor who'd like to win Penelope's heart?**

** ANSWER: YOUR MOTHER.**

**5. Who wrote this novel?**

** ANSWER: YOUR MOTHER…AGAIN.**

"Percy," Mrs. Blackwell said as calmly as she could, "I'm going to have to fail you on this quiz."

As Percy was walking into his house, he saw that his parents were home early.

As the family sat around the table, eating cabbage soup—Sally's specialty—Paul had a good question for Percy. "So, Percy, do you know what I found on my desk this morning?"

"A note?"

"Sort of. Remember when I told you all those stories about Mr. Zeus?"

Percy nodded.

"Well, his factory's been closed for a long time. And now, he's decided to reopen it!"

Percy choked. "Really?"

Paul handed him the flyer.

_Dear People,_

_I am Zeus, founder and owner of the Nectar Factory atop Mount Olympus! I have decided that since my nectar has been the best ever for many years, to reopen my factory!_

_Unfortunately, I can only allow so many people in at a time. Therefore, I've hidden five MythoMagic cards in five ordinary bottles of soda. If you drink nectar, you'll die anyway if you drink too much of it!_

_Love and kisses,_

_Mr. Zeus the Awesome_

And so the search began.

Twenty-four hours after the flyer had been read, the first founder of the MythoMagic cards became famous. It was a young boy named Nico di Angelo.

A reporter was sitting in the living room with an Italian family. The boy—Nico—was sitting on the floor, distracted by the MythoMagic card in his hand. His father, Hades, was explaining something to the reporter.

"Yeah, my son's totally obsessed with this stuff," Hades said gloomily. "I told him I'd go with him to visit Mr. Zeus' factory."

THREE DAYS LATER…

Two girls sat on the couch in a beautiful pink living room. The mother was squealing to the reporter, and her daughter was doing the same thing, only to the kitten she was holding.

"I just knew Drew would get it!" Aphrodite, the mother, squealed. "She drinks about three bottles of soda a day!"

TWO DAYS LATER…

"So here's how it all came down, punk," Ares said, as Clarisse was playing with the MythoMagic card. "I was sitting here, when she started spitting out a card. After I picked up the card covered in drool and spat-out soda, I realized it was my girl's chance to kick ass!"

"Mr. Ares," said the reporter, "do you think Clarisse will win?"

"She WILL win. If she doesn't, she's going right to Tartarus."

ONE DAY LATER…

Dionysus was sitting on his fat butt while Chiron talked to a reporter.

"Yes, I knew Dionysus here would find a card," Chiron was saying. "He drinks so much Diet Coke a day."

"Shut up!" Dionysus yelled angrily. "Trying to play Pac-Man here!"

Chiron grimaced at him. "Any-who, I believe he'll be the one to win the grand prize of nectar! Just because…he's awesome!"

In a news booth, an anchorman was reading the weather report.

"We're going to experience some severe snow showers on Wednesday—"

"THIS JUST IN!" another anchorman yelled into the camera. "They've found the last golden ticket!"

Percy, who so happened to be watching, groaned in dismay.

"It's very exciting to hear the last MythoMagic card has been found by a young girl named Thalia Grace!"

Percy walked into 7-11, where the TV was on.

"Hey," Percy said to Apollo, who was running the place, "I'll have a bottle of Coke, please."

"Sure. That'll be one dollar," Apollo said, handing Percy his soda.

Apollo's sister Artemis came running up to the two boys. "Boys," she said, disgusted at them, "I've just read on Facebook that the ticket was a fake! There's still one more ticket floating around!"

"Like anyone we know is gonna find it," Apollo said sadly.

Percy downed the Coke in three large gulps. Then he looked at the bottle. "That's a bit too little soda for me," he said angrily. "Whatever. See you guys around."

"Good-bye, Percy," Artemis said, smiling at him.

Percy was about to leave, when Apollo said, "Perce! What's that in the bottle?"

"What's what?" asked Percy, confused.

"There's something in the bottle."

Apollo ripped the bottle out of Percy's hands, and turned it upside down. Not getting anything out of it at first, he broke the bottle on the counter. Glass flew everywhere, but under the glass was…

"A MYTHOMAGIC CARD?!" screamed Artemis. "Does that mean-?"

"That little crap!" Apollo yelled. Then he broke out into a smile. "Yahoo! This means Percy will be going to the Nectar Factory and see Mr. Zeus!"

Percy ran home to show his parents. "Mom! Paul! I've got the MythoMagic card!"

"So you do," said Sally, taking it from her son's hand.

_Greetings to the Lucky Finder of This MythoMagic Card!_

_I am Mr. Zeus, and I am so delighted that you found my ticket. Please come to the Nectar Factory on the 23__rd__ of October at 10:00 AM! More to come, more to see!_

_Sincerely,_

_Mr. Zeus_

"That's tomorrow!" Sally squeaked.

"Who's going to go with me?" asked Percy.

"Paul!" Sally shrieked. "How about you go with Percy?"

"Sure thing, Sally!" Paul said. "Quick, Percy! Wash your hair! Blow your nose! Brush your teeth!"

"Paul, chill," Percy said warily. "I get it."

The next morning, all the lucky finders of the MythoMagic card were in front of the gates of the Nectar Factory. All of them were with one of their parents, most of them with their immortal parent.

Percy was excited, but kind of nervous, too. He couldn't help wondering if he could taste the nectar if he wanted to.

Just then, a figure came out of the door…

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys! Curse you, finals!**


	35. Percy and the Nectar Factory: Part II

**Thanks for the reviews. Trying to get over 100!**

**FAIR WARNING: THE WORD "WHORE" IS USED IN THIS, SO IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY IT, I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE! =) Please don't kill me!**

**Disclaimer: Roald Dahl (dead guy!) owns Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and RR owns PJO = HOO!**

**PERCY AND THE NECTAR FACTORY: PART II**

Percy, as well as the rest of the people in the crowd, glanced at the gate. It had opened to reveal a tall man with a well-trimmed beard. Percy thought this was Mr. Zeus, but he wasn't certain.

Mr. Zeus—or whoever he was—came walking down the sidewalk towards the gate entrance. Suddenly, he stopped. "Welcome, friends, to my factory!"

The crowd cheered.

Mr. Zeus glanced at everyone and showed a brilliantly-white smile—kind of like Apollo's—but Apollo's was way whiter than Mr. Zeus'!

"Please step forward and hand me the MythoMagic card you've found," Mr. Zeus said cheerfully.

Nico came up first. "Hi. I'm Nico, son of Hades. That's him right there. He's all depressed today because his woman, Persephone, was fighting with him, and she made him sleep on the couch last night."

"TMI," said Mr. Zeus quietly. "And you must like this card, Nico?"

"Hell, yeah!"

"Very well, then. Inside, please." Mr. Zeus shook his head and rolled his eyes as Nico skipped toward the front door of the factory.

Drew and Aphrodite came forward, both wearing red dresses.

"Hi. I'm Drew and this is my mom, Aphrodite."

"Pleased to meet you both," said Mr. Zeus, shaking Drew's and Aphrodite's hands in turn. "So glad you could make it on such a beautiful day like today!"

"Like, I wouldn't miss my baby winning the big prize," Aphrodite squealed.

"Yeah…you don't even know what it is, my dear Aphrodite," said Mr. Zeus.

Aphrodite looked at him funny.

"Move along," Mr. Zeus said quickly.

"Hi, punk. I'm Clarisse, and this is my badass father, Ares."

"Gods, I'll be frightened of you both for the rest of my immortal days," said Mr. Zeus.

"Yeah, my girl's gonna win the big prize, right?" Ares snapped at Mr. Zeus.

Mr. Zeus smirked. "I don't know. Maybe."

Ares grunted an approval, then marched Clarisse to the front door of the factory.

Dionysus and Chiron walked up to Mr. Zeus. Mr. Zeus was shocked at how fat Dionysus was. "And who might you be, young man?"

"I'm Dionysus, and this is my buddy, Chiron. He's a centaur."

"Well, lovely to meet you."

"I like to watch TV."

"So I see." Mr. Zeus pointed them to the front door. "Fat ass," he mumbled under his breath. "And who are you, my good fellow?"

"I'm Percy, and this my stepdad, Paul," Percy introduced.

"I'm so happy you could make it, Percy."

"Thank you so much for having us," said Paul.

"No thanks necessary, my dear sir," said Mr. Zeus. "Your stepson here did all the work! I'm just the tour guide."

Once Percy and Paul had joined the party, Mr. Zeus led them inside as the crowd cheered behind them.

Once they were inside, Mr. Zeus led them to the coat room. "So, this is the Nectar Factory, and a hearty welcome to each and every one of you! Please leave any personal belongings and coats here, and we'll get started with the waiver when you've done so."

Drew looked at Aphrodite angrily. "You never told me we had to sign anything, Mom!"

"Sweetie, just do what Mr. Zeus says. You want the prize, right?"

Drew nodded.

"Okay, then," said Aphrodite. "You'll get that prize if you behave."

"Now," Mr. Zeus explained, "this waiver just says that you won't touch anything unless I say so. You will not eat anything that's not ambrosia or nectar, and you will not go anywhere unless I say you can. Are we clear, everybody?"

"Yes!" they chanted.

"Good. Now, grab a pen and sign your name. Parents, I'd like you to do the same thing."

Once everyone had signed their names, Mr. Zeus looked it over. "Who's QUAFRODITEE?"

"That's my name," Aphrodite squeaked. "The Q is silent."

Mr. Zeus shrugged. "Whatever. Let me show you the first room, 'Quafroditee.'"

"Oh, my gods," said Nico as he entered the Nectar Room. "This place is full of…nectar!"

"Yes, and it's completely demigod-safe!" Mr. Zeus said happily. After singing a brief song about how good his nectar and ambrosia was, he let all the kids run free.

Drew and Aphrodite immediately went to a small fountain that was squirting hot chocolate-flavored nectar. Hades and Nico went to the ambrosia in the shape of a lollipop.

All of a sudden, Hades yelled, "Nico! Son, please don't put your hand in the river!"

Nico was at the riverbank of the Nectar River, and he was dipping his hands into it, drinking every drop he could. Suddenly, he fell in!

"And he doesn't listen to me," Hades snarled. "Mr. Zeus! My son has fallen into the river!"

"Can't he read?" Mr. Zeus snapped. He pointed to a sign. It said DO NOT TOUCH THE RIVER!

Unfortunately, no one was paying Hades too much attention. They were all focused on the creatures on the other side of the river.

"What are those things?" asked Dionysus.

"Those?" asked Mr. Zeus. "Oh, those are my nymphs. I hired them so I don't have to do all this work myself."

"Cool. Do you pay them?" asked Clarisse.

"No. They don't care, though. I give them a roof over their heads, food, clothes, and free haircuts. I think they are quite content."

"Where are they from, exactly?" asked Chiron.

"NymphLand."

"NymphLand? There is no such place," Chiron said.

"Of course there is!"

"How'd they get over here?" asked Drew.

"Well, when I went to NymphLand to look for new flavors of ambrosia, it was during mating season. Now, the nymphs hate mating season with a burning passion, 'cause all these perverted satyrs come and fall in love with them. So I asked if they'd like to work for me in the factory if I gave them life necessities. And they all squealed. They were so enthusiastic about it, so I let them come with me," Mr. Zeus explained proudly.

"Hey!" yelled Hades. "My son can't swim! He is no offspring of Poseidon here!"

"Okay, well, first off, he shouldn't have been kneeling on the bank of the river sipping the nectar like a fine wine," Mr. Zeus scolded. "Secondly, as you can see right now, Hades, he's going up the pipe to the boiler room."

"He's going to be boiled! My baby!" Hades cried.

"Hades, don't ever say that again, please," Mr. Zeus begged, rolling his eyes. "That's really creepy once you think about it."

Nico was no longer in the river. He was flying up the pipe like a rocket. Soon after that, he vanished in the boiler room.

"Crap," said Mr. Zeus. "Well, I'll show you what my nymphs here are good at!" He took out a small whistle and blew a tune on it. A few nymphs came into a circle around Hades and started marching and singing a song.

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,_

_Nico's black hair, it looks like some poo._

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,_

_Take the time now to listen to me!_

_What do you do when you're stuck in a pipe?_

_On the side, he has made a large stripe._

_When he gets into the boiler room,_

_The others will smack him with a broom!_

_That would really suck for him!_

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-da-da,_

_If you are Hades, you are SO blah!_

_Your son, Nico, is not a dear._

_Calling nymphs and dryads, let's have a beer!_

"That was amazing," said Ares. "I can't wait for mine!"

"Well, shall we press on? I got this really cool boat that'll take us to the Invention Room," said Mr. Zeus happily.

As soon as they got to the Invention Room, Mr. Zeus said that if they saw anything cool (which the whole place was), they were not to tell anyone about it…or he'd kill them!

"So, my latest and greatest invention," Mr. Zeus said as they headed through the different parts of the Inventing Room, "is banana-flavored nectar!" He held up a tiny vile for them to see.

Drew, who absolutely loved bananas, suddenly reached out. "Fork it over, Mr. Zeus, honey."

"Sorry, darling, it's not quite ready yet," Mr. Zeus retorted.

"So? I love bananas."

Aphrodite nodded in agreement.

Mr. Zeus thought it was best to just ignore Drew and let her taste-test it.

Drew downed the whole vile in one gulp. "Mom, this is the best thing ever!"

"Does it actually taste like bananas?" asked Aphrodite.

"Hades, of course it tastes like bananas!" Drew yelled.

"Not fair," Clarisse said.

"Be grateful," Ares said. "Her face is all yellow."

"Drew, honey," Aphrodite said nervously, "what's wrong with your face?"

"Absolutely nothing. It's flawless, like yours!"

"No, honey, you look like you have…jaundice!"

"What the hell is jaundice?"

"I don't know."

Paul cleared his throat. "A yellowing of the skin that's caused by too much bilirubin in the body."

"What?" asked Aphrodite.

"He says stuff with big words sometimes," said Percy.

"Aren't you wishing you'd passed your vocabulary portion of the final?" Paul winked at Percy.

Meanwhile, Drew began to grow taller and taller. She was soon towering over Aphrodite and the rest of the party. Her face kept turning more and more yellow, like the "jaundice" had taken a huge nosedive.

When Percy looked up, he saw Drew the Banana was standing in front of him, looking like she wanted to puke.

"What in Hades have you done to my daughter?" Aphrodite shrieked/squealed.

"I told her not to do it," said Mr. Zeus slyly, getting out his whistle. Once the tune was played, the nymphs came out, formed a circle around Drew and Aphrodite, and marched to their usual song.

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,_

_Unfortunate fate awaits your daughter Drew._

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,_

_Let's say some things about Aphrodite._

_Dear Drew, you know Aphrodite's a whore,_

_Who's got an IQ less than negative four._

_Even though she is the goddess of love,_

_She can't even spell "dove."_

_Aphro's got a messed-up mind!_

_Nymphs and dryads, na-na-na-na,_

_It is too bad you're a banana._

_You look tasty, yes you do,_

_All these nymphs and dryads want to eat you!_

They began to push Drew back through the Invention Room, where they put her on a huge barge (with Aphrodite) and took her to the Doctoring Room.

Mr. Zeus looked at the remaining party members. "Well, this sucks, huh? Come, come! There is far too little time, and too much to see!"

**End of Part II! Please read and review. And again, sorry if anyone takes offense to the "whore" thing. It was the only thing that was funny that could rhyme with something else. Sorry to any little kids who are reading this.**

**~Icy**


	36. Percy and the Nectar Factory: Part III

**Yeah, so I know these Roald Dahl stories aren't really Fairy Tales or scary stories, but they're children's stories. And it gives me a good excuse to reread his books…which, I think, are totally awesome.**

**Couldn't you just imagine the gods telling this stuff to their kids or something?**

**I own nothing.**

**PERCY AND THE NECTAR FACTORY: PART III**

Now that Drew the banana was gone, and so was Nico—who fell into the Nectar River—Mr. Zeus went on with the tour.

"Okay, then," said Mr. Zeus happily. "This is the Fizzy Nectar Room."

"Where's the nectar?" asked Clarisse La Rue.

"Right here, on the Central Island Counter," said Mr. Zeus proudly. "But I don't want you guys trying any of it, 'cause it's still too powerful. I've already lost, like, eight nymphs because they tried some and they didn't come back. Now, follow me."

While the others went on, Percy and Paul stayed behind.

"You know," said Paul slyly, "I am kinda thirsty."

"Yeah. Me, too," Percy agreed. He picked up a bottle of nectar and took a sip. "Nothing's happening. He wasn't right. It doesn't make you go anywhere—" But as soon as Percy said that, he was lifted off the ground and floating toward the ceiling.

"Crap!" Paul yelled. "I'm coming, Perce!" He took a sip and was joining his stepson in no time.

"Now, how do we get down? I'm really bored up here," said Percy.

"Ugh. I'm not sure," Paul said, and hiccupped. "Hey! Look! I'm going down!"

Percy hiccupped, too. "Wow! Me, too!"

Once they'd gotten back down to Earth, Paul glanced at Percy. "Let's catch up with the others before we get totally screwed."

They found the others in a room filled with small animals—cats, to be exact.

"So, here's how it all goes down from here," Mr. Zeus was saying. "These cats are the taste-testers for the chocolate-flavored nectar. They are each, at the beginning of the day, placed at their stations. Then they are given some milk to try. If they like it, they do a backflip. If they don't, they make a sick face, and a nymph takes it away and dumps it down the toilet over there." He pointed to a large toilet.

"Dad!" Clarisse screamed. "Can I get a cat?"

"No, punk," Ares snapped at her. "You already have three of them at home. And you have six fish, a hamster, and a guinea pig. If you want a cat, it'll be your money."

Clarisse kicked him, and Ares finally gave in.

"How much is the cat, Zeus?" asked Ares.

"Uh…they're not for sale. She can't have one, my good sir," Mr. Zeus replied.

"Who says so?" Clarisse wailed.

"He did," Ares replied.

"Fine! I'll get one myself!" Clarisse yelled. She went over to the nearest cat and held out her arms to it. "I'll…have…YOU!"

The cat hissed at her and knocked her to the ground. It licked her face. All of the other cats hissed and ran to Clarisse. They started dragging her toward the toilet. A nymph in a beautiful green dress was waiting there. Clarisse was actually large enough to be flushed, so she was.

"Gods!" Ares screamed. "How dare you, punk? She was my kid!"

"Sir, that's how it works. I don't make the rules, I just work here," said Mr. Zeus.

"You suck!" Ares cried. "Clarisse! I'm coming!" And he was flushed down the toilet, too.

Mr. Zeus took out his whistle again and the nymphs circled around the toilet.

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,_

_Off goes the girl and her father, too._

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,_

_Take the time now to listen to me._

_Clarisse is what we shall now call a brat._

_She just had to tick off that poor little cat._

_She could've smiled or, at least, gushed,_

_But instead she decided to get flushed._

_And she dragged Ares with her!_

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-da-da,_

_It's not as funny as Drew Banana._

_We should be getting out of here soon,_

'_Cause we're nymphs and dryads, we are not loons!_

"Well, wait till you guys see my TV room," said Mr. Zeus. They had just entered the TV room. "This is a new things called Nectar-Vision. It's just like TV, but you can transport food."

"Sweet! Can you transport me into a Pac-Man game?" asked Dionysus.

"Well," said Mr. Zeus, "I could…but the Nectar-Video-Game is that-a way." He pointed with his thumb to a chunky nymph playing a video game.

"Dionysus, please don't do this," Chiron warned. "It won't be good for you."

"Go to Hades! This is my day! When it's your day, I'll listen to you! But for now, I want to play Pac-Man!"

Dionysus got on a small platform and the chubby nymph pressed a button. Dionysus vanished, then reappeared on the screen, being chased by Pac-Man.

"This is totally awesome!" he yelled. "Can I do it again?"

"No, you'll vanish forever," said Mr. Zeus. "We'll need to stretch you so you'll be back to your fat self, Dionysus."

The nymph took Dionysus out of the video game by pressing another button, and gave him to Chiron. "I'll take him to the Nectar Machine, Mr. Zeus, sir."

"Okay, cutie-pants. Go ahead."

The nymph kissed him on the cheek and left.

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-dee-doo-doo,_

_I've got an awesome story for you!_

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-dee-dee,_

_Take the time now to listen to me._

_Dionysus is extraordinary fat._

_He sits on his butt and acts like a cat._

_He spends all his days watching stupid TV,_

_And Pac-Man is the video game for he!_

_Chiron must be spoiling him._

_Nymphs and dryads, doo-doo-doo-doo,_

_If you are Chiron, your buddy's screwed._

_I think our work here is done._

_We are nymphs and dryads, da-dee-dum-dum!_

"Is that how you greet people? By kissing them?" asked Percy, surprised.

"Yeah," said Mr. Zeus, "well, you guys want to know something depressing?"

They nodded.

"I've just heard that you guys drank my Fizzy Nectar. I oughta banish you straight to Nectar Tartarus for that! So, I WAS gonna give you the prize, but I guess we'll have to give it to one of the other little poop heads, eh?"

"No, I'm sorry," said Percy. "We are so poor at home. I don't eat much. We were just so thirsty."

"Oh," said Mr. Zeus, looking saddened, "I'm sorry, both of you. I'll make you a deal, though. You, your mom, and Paul here can work with me in the factory, if I give you a lifetime supply of nectar and ambrosia. Any flavor you want, I can make."

"Of course!" said Percy happily.

"Very well, then," said Mr. Zeus. He snapped his fingers and Sally appeared in front of them. "Now, my dears, you will be staying with some nymphs, but they don't bite. I'll burn your old, crappy house, and you can live and work here with me."

With that, Percy, Paul, and Sally agreed, and Mr. Zeus presented them with a lifetime supply of ambrosia and nectar.

**Did you guys like it? Should I do more children's books? I thought about doing "James and the Giant Peach" or "The Twits" (both by Roald Dahl), but what do you guys think? Leave answers in reviews! Hope you enjoyed this "series!"**


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